Welcome to Glam-Quest 2000!

I am Gregoire, your host, your judge, your jury, and your master of ceremonies in the most star-studded safari ever to grace the pages of this -- or any -- gossip column.

As you probably know, I've challenged my spies in L.A. and New York to show me which is the Coast with the Most... Celebrities. I'm prepared to award an utterly spectacular 10,000 points for every genuine celebrity spotted. Furthermore, I've detailed some very special circumstances that will reward extra juicy encounters.

These rules are almost as fickle as fame itself, but read them closely and you'll understand the true scope of fabulousness that the Glam-Quest will unleash. I will be updating these firm-but-gentle regulations throughout the game, and, as with most things, all Gregoire's judgements are final.

Are we ready to play?

I. Teams, Judging, and Reporting

Two celebrity-spotting teams will be convened and managed by Captains Asher (LA) and Amy (NY). The teams will have the same number of players (most of the time). Captains will submit report of their teams' sightings to Gregoire each week. Gregoire will award points and render judgements, as usual. (Hey, it's I does, right? Think about it.) Results will be published each week in the column.

As judge, jury, and MC of Glam-Quest 2000, I, Gregoire, will manage the proceedings from my booth at the Times Square Hojo's. My rulings may be challenged, but not overturned. Team BG will fulfill an advisory role and keep the cheese fries coming.

II. Contest Period

Glam-Quest 2000 begins officially at 9:00 p.m. on June 27th in each respective time zone. The game will end at 11:59 p.m. on Saturday July 29th, also in each respective time zone. In the event of a tie, there will be a one-week Star-Off until August 5th.

III. What is a "Celebrity"?

A valid celebrity sighting includes confirmed identification of a TV, movie, stage, literary, radio, or political personage. Some individuals who are "famous for being famous" may also count. Final judgement on borderline cases belongs to me, Gregoire.

IV. What is a "Sighting"?

Said famous personage may be spied at any "non-official" event.

No: Andre Agassi at Wimbledon.
Yes: Andre Agassi coming out of the men's room at Jekyll & Hyde.

NOTE: As in real life, stalking is strictly prohibited. All meetings must be coincidental. Trolling, however, is permitted. Meeting stars through friends at a private social function is valid. Asking friends to introduce you to stars to generate points is creepy. Pre-existing contacts, sadly, are forfeit.

V. Points

Each valid celebrity sighting is worth 10,000 points. (What? You think we're kidding around?)

VI. Multipliers

Our celebrity spotters can apply one of the following multipliers where appropriate to increase the points awarded to each sighting.

A. Nooky Multiplier - 2x
Catching two (or more) celebrities smooching, snuggling, or otherwise canoodling will immediately double the point value. Generally, this will be two celebs (20,000) times 2 = 40,000 points.

B. Irony Multiplier - 3x
Any ironic celebrity sighting triples the value of the overall sighting. For example, seeing weight-watching spokesroyal Sarah Ferguson walk out of a Fat Burger daubing the grease from her lips with a napkin instantly generates 30,000 points. If she's with Monica, it's two celebs (20,000) times 3 = 60,000.

C. Fellini Multiplier - 4x
Any event so bizarre it could only happen in one of Federico's films earns a celebrity-spotter four times the normal point value. Rudy Giuliani carrying a dwarf clown, for example, is an easy 40,000 points.

D. Eye Contact Multiplier - 5x
Actual eye contact multiplies the point value by five, but it must be confirmed. For example:

Yes: Sharon Stone locking eyes with you as she strides by.
No: Sharon Stone coincidentally turning her head when you cough.

E. Conversation Multiplier - 6x
Talking with a celebrity is a whopping 6x multiplier, but it is valid only if there is a complete exchange:

You: "Hey, you're MTV's Nina Blackwood."
MTV's Nina Blackwood: "Why, yes, I am."

F. Group Multiplier - (the number in the group squared, times 10K)
Seeing a pair or group of stars who are directly affiliated will multiply the sighting by the number of stars in the group. Simply travelling in packs doesn't count, unfortunately. Celebs must be 1) co-performers, 2) romantically involved (currently or formerly), or 3) otherwise linked as I, Gregoire, deem valid.

For example, seeing snugglebunnies David Bowie and Iman having a picnic in the park is worth 20,000 points (10,000 each) times 2 for the pair = 40,000 total. Likewise, seeing U2 at the 7-11 would be 40,000 points (10,000 each) times 4 for the group = 160,000 points total.

NEW RULE!
G. Nudity Multiplier - 5x
Sighting any celebrity cavorting in his or her birthday suit or otherwise demonstrating a desire to share their intimate bodily surfaces en pleine aire multiplies the points by five. Partial nudity may be acknowledged in certain cases, where I find it in some way appealing or impressive.

VII. Winning

When all the drama is over, the winning team will have more points -- and thus be more fabulous -- than the non-winning team. We will reward this with a prize that can only be described as "priceless."

VII. More Rules

I, Gregoire, am free to revise, add to, or subtract from any and all rules contained herein at my complete whim and discretion. When you've got your own game, you can make the rules.

Begin with Glam-Quest Week One!!

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