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Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been dating this guy for close to two years, and on New Year's Eve, he proposed to me and I accepted. He is generally a nice guy and knows what a girl wants; he makes me laugh, is a good listener, treats me like a queen, and is very hard working. The snug is, however, that he has some bad habits that I wish he would stop. We have talked about a couple of them, and since I moved in with him, he is making an effort to change.

How will I let him know, without hurting his feelings, that some of these habits have got to go? Here they come: he doesn't take a shower as often as he should. He leaves his clothes and stuff on the floor when he takes them off. He will repeat his socks a couple of times until they are nice and crispy even though there are clean socks in the drawer. I live in constant fear that the fashion police will arrest him; he has very little fashion sense and still wears a pair of old, beat-up sneakers that are not Y2K-compliant.

Now don't get me wrong; it's not like he's strapped for cash. He bought me a $800 leather jacket for Christmas. I constantly find myself buying him clothing, just as an attempt to update his wardrobe. His excuse is that he's investing on paying for college so that we'll live more comfortably in the future and that he hates to shop. I want him to know how I feel without sounding brutal ... or like his mother. What shall I do?!

--Sichana

Dear Sichana,

You're going to want to throw a pair of crispy socks at my head, but if you meant "yes" when you said it, then you've got to have and to hold him, warty sneakers and all. In a vacuum (you wish!), his fashion choices are peeves at worst; don't let them become a big crispy repeated argument, okay? Best you can do -- in the spirit and vogue of "acceptance therapy" (see c.) -- is designate a limited "clothes and stuff" zone on the floor; lure him into the shower ... together. That kind of compromisey, other-cheeky thing.

(Now. How do I worry about your marrying someone whom you describe as a "generally nice guy" without sounding brutal, or like your mother?)

Love,
Breakup Girl

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