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This week, Breakup Girl goes ballistic over:
There are some situations in which
Breakup Girl sticks firmly to her double standards.
- Good music. I conveniently forget that the
Godfather of Soul is the Mother of all Wife-Beaters.
- Yum! I turn
up my nose at milk-fed veal, but my bare hands have gleefully brought death
and dismemberment to countless Maine lobsters.
- Statements, fashion and
otherwise. War is bad, but my 82nd Airborne-surplus Corcoran paratrooper
boots are good.
Basically, double standards occur when someone
adheres both to a principle and also to a big fat self-serving exception to
that principle. And usually, the big fat self-serving exception means that
someone (wives, lobsters, civilians) gets dealt a lousy hand. That's how BG
describes it, but just to make this official, let's have a look at the
definition of double standard in Breakup Girl's American Heritage
Dictionary (a high school graduation gift from an ex-boyfriend, who like all of
her high school boyfriends, is now married with child. See also
"double standard, n. A set of principles
permitting greater opportunity or liberty to one than to another, esp. the
granting of greater sexual freedom to men than to women."
Aha. So Breakup Girl has backup when she says:
Guys. Cut it out. All of you.
Boys/men: No fair expecting girls/women not to do or have done
anything you would do or have done. (Also see "madonna/whore complex" in my last
Girls/women: No fair letting boys/men treat you like milk-fed veal.
Breakup Girl is about to go After-School Special on you, but listen up:
respect each other's -- and your own -- actions, choices, and dumb mistakes. If
you feel like someone is doing something mean and lousy to you, get up offa
that thing and call them on it. If you feel like someone is getting away with
some bad behavior by flashing some fake "that's how men/women are supposed
to be" license, call them on it. Realize that in relationships, these
boy/girl double standards are, deep down, all about (more After-School Special
words) insecurity and self-esteem. As in, "If she looks at another guy,
she might not like me!" As in "If I call him on his double standards,
he might not like me!" (Or, worse, "Wow, he won't let me look at
another guy -- he must really like me!)
So, basically, Breakup Girl is allowed to have double standards, and you're
Here are some of the letters that precipitated this
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