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Many of the letters that Breakup Girl receives start off like this:
Dear Breakup Girl, I have a question I'd like to ask you, if you're not
What do you guys mean, "too busy?" I mean, no, there's not enough
time in the day -- nor room in cyberspace -- to actually answer all of your
letters ... but in principle, no, I am not "too busy"
to thoughtfully read and consider every letter I receive. That, gentle readers,
is Breakup Girl's job. I have decided that this advice column is my
priority and my baby; the thought of being "too busy" simply doesn't
make sense. If I ever say I'm "too busy" to read your letters (not
gonna happen! ) that would be code for "I'm just not interested
anymore " or "David Duchovny is flying me to Fiji and my laptop
doesn't work there." In which case I'd come back and write a double-length
column the following week, most of which would be dedicated to comforting Tea
Leoni. Point is, you're never too busy for what you truly love; and when you do
get crazy busy once in a while; you do what you gotta do; you work it out.
Where am I going with all this?
Well, Breakup Girl is, frankly, too busy to hear about anyone else who says
they are "too busy" for a relationship. That's why I'm going to
settle the matter of "too busy" right now, once and for all. We've
all got stuff to do; I'll make my points brief.
- We all
have 24 hours today.
- The President has time to jog.*
- Argued another way: the President has time for at least one relationship.
- You either want a relationship or you don't. You are not "too
busy." You want it bad enough, you make time for it. Look, BG's dear
friend D. used to work 7 PM to 2 AM at a newspaper, only Mondays and Tuesday
off. OF COURSE D. met the girl reporter of his dreams during this time. I
don't know how they did it -- it wasn't easy, and it certainly wasn't magic
-- but they did it, and they are still together. And now he has a better
shift. As I said, you want it, you work at it, you work it out.
- If you really want a relationship -- with someone in particular or just
... someone -- and you truly are at a loss about how to carve out the time
from, say, an all-consuming job, then that's your sign that something's gotta
*joke borrowed from NY comedy
writer/BG mentor Brian Frazer
Consider this: you should be "too busy" for a relationship.
In a sense. If you're not in a relationship right now, but you'd like to be in
one, you shouldn't leave a hole in your life that spews time onto your hands.
Have your life. A full, complete, busy one. I'll say it one more time: a
worthwhile relationship comes along, you'll work it out.
Now I'll make the time to elaborate:
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