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March 16, 1998   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

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Dear Breakup Girl,

My fella, who I adored, was transferred to another city. We agreed to try a long distance relationship. All I ever asked was that he tell me if he found someone else. Within a few weeks there, he was sleeping with a much younger woman who he had HIRED for his department. I found out after about a month and threw the book at him. I don't want him back, but I so want to stop thinking about him and stop feeling so hurt. I've filled my life with a lot of new things...going to college, golf, country dancing, etc. I've met a few men, but the thought of being hurt like that again is too much...it makes my stomach turn over. It's been almost a year and I am still feeling the sting. Any ideas?

-- Linda


Dear Linda,

First of all, BG is enchanted with the idea of having a "fella." Did he take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top? What the dilly?

Okay, now I'll get serious. Very serious. I know this fella hurt you hella bad, but listen up: in this dating thing, we are all walking wounded. I don't mean to be cynical -- just realistic, practical, human. We are never quite "fine." Lying around in traction waiting to feel 110% better means playing it way too safe. After a period of convalesence, we all just have to make the choice to hobble back out there, sling, crutch, eye patch, and all. Until the next fella swings by in the surrey.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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