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July 27, 1998 e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


BG Vaca Files, Part II

Note from chris@breakupgirl.net:

Breakup Girl is on vacation, but fortunately, she was able to direct me to her "on-deck" pile of answered letters so that we could, even in her absence, keep everyone up to date on their much-needed advice. The columns won't be as long or in depth as usual, but just remember, no matter where she is, Breakup Girl is watching over you!

"It's Not You...It's Your Family"

MASSIVE disclaimer, to prevent BG's being grounded: Starting with The Sun Shines Brighter..., whose boyfriend's parents basically broke up with her, BG has spotted a mini-trend of Moms and Dads getting a little too...involved when their kids get involved. And actually, it just so happens that it's often the mom. But here's the thing: people are waaaaaaay too quick to Blame the Mother for being the smothering/glacial harpy behind you name whatever madness, from garden-variety insecurity to the proliferation of greenhouse gases. And those people should cut it out. They talk to their mothers with that mouth? Point is, in this handful of letters, I mean no harm, nor stereotypes whatsoever. To be fair, it's hard for parents to watch their babies walk through that dark door to adulthood labeled "DATING;" no wonder they might freak out here and there. And some of them, at the other end of the spectrum, make some excellent calls. So in the big picture, please file the weird stuff away NOT under Bad Mother, but under Bad Manners. (This column, by the way, is not meant to be Breakup Girl's exhaustive treatment of the "How do I deal with his/her family?" question. We'll get to that one of these days.)



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