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Dear Breakup Girl,
I just moved from Florida to Virginia. And, even though I have moved before,
it was never before I hit puberty. I have zilch self esteem. I don't know how
to get over it. I know, be yourself, be nice, be friendly, etc., but I don't
want to be the cookie cutter girl. I want to be myself, even though I have no
clue what that is. I am so shy. I don't hold conversations very well, my mind
goes blank like I am meditating or something. I don't know what I want to do. I
want to travel, but whenever I bring up something, my parents give me some
discouraging remark or a lame excuse. You probably get tons of letters, so I'll
get to the point, I need to know how to get over myself. This letter is
probably just plain silly, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
My two cents: Anyone who tells me she has zilch
self-esteem -- and then apologizes for a "silly" letter -- is right.
Yes, Nicole, you're definitely having a tough time. But there is a light buried
somewhere in the U-Haul, you'll see ...
Belleruth's two bucks: "It's normal for even an
adult with tons of self-esteem to completely gork out into feelings of
non-entity-hood with a move. You lose all that social support and suddenly you
feel like you've been disappeared. And adolescents, who have an identity crisis
every five minutes -- cause that's how they figure out who they are -- can
really sink into existential despair and bigtime identity confusion when they
leave their friends, familiar surroundings, etc.
So all I can say is: this too shall pass. It's very
likely that you will repeat whatever social successes and focuses for your
talents in your new place; and the good news is, in this new environment you
get to reinvent yourself and tweak the places in your personality that needed
work. Moving is really really hard, but the good news is: it's a new
BG and BR
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