To Happybelle from BG:
That level of possessiveness and jealousy is not normal, and it ain't love, either. I suggest you check out this website and see if it gives you any useful information or insights on your situation. Then decide if you'd feel comfortable getting back together. And please be careful.
Thirty-Plus Optimist writes:
"Gee, I could have used you a year ago when my love left me to return home. But that's one of the reasons I'm writing. Recently, I "hit for the cycle." That is, in the last year and a half, I've reconnected and had dinner with three women in my life that I always thought I could have been happily married to. One is very happily married. One is somewhat happily married (three kids, exhausted couple). And the last one is divorced, living with boyfriend of 5 years.
I always said that they had the qualities I thought would make great soulmates for me. And catching up with them (one of them I haven't seen in 11 years!) verified that they still have all the qualities that I found so intriguing (and heartbreaking since they wanted to be *just friends*).
But the main point I wanted to make here is that because I realized a few years ago that I had stumbled into three women that I thought I could marry, there must be more out there! In other words, my philosophy (and recently confirmed with the women) is that you may miss out on one person you think is THE ONE, but hey, there are others out there that may even better than THE ONE. That's why when my last girlfriend left me because she was incredibly homesick, I didn't get too upset cause there's a good chance that there's someone else out there for me!
Yeah, breakups suck, but with SO MANY people out there in the world, they don't suck for too long."
To Still a Virgin from Liz:
"I know exactly how you feel. I'm a virgin too, and I'm not big on making out or kissing as much as I am caressing and hugging. In fact, I always swore I would slap a guy who ever touched my breasts if I wasn't married to him. As I got older, I realized that as the relationship continues, and as you get more comfortable with the person, you will start doing more physically because you want to. It all depends on who you are with, and whether you both want to do more physically or not. I think the most important part of this is trust as well, trust whom you are with your body, and let him know if you're not comfortable with some of it. I'm sure once you find someone you really enjoy being with and love, you're sex drive will somewhat sky rocket. Mine has, and I'm happy to say I'm in a wonderful relationship with someone who has been my friend for a year, and I value that friendship above everything else. So, I wouldn't worry about being a virgin. We still do exist in larger numbers than people realize, and I'm actually proud to say I've managed such in a society like ours. My advice: Don't do anything you don't want to, and I advise you to get rid of the awkwardness by talking about the possibility before anything actually happens."
From Embarrassed as Heck:
"I just wanted to give you a shout-out for responding, and to give you an update on the Things that Be. Basically, everything turned out *a-ok*. No, I don't have the boy. But I feel a lot better, I'll tell you that much. It's pretty amazing how much more time you have to concentrate on other stuff when your mind is no longer hijacked by thoughts of: "He gave me three and a half long gazes tonight. That must mean true love."
So, after I wrote you the first letter (fresh the searing wound of rejection), I moped for about an hour and a half, spoke with my delicious, sassy, and supportive girlfriends, and pretty much laughed it off. The very next day, I joined a self-defense class which I discovered contains one darling, bespectacled, bearded boy who offered to help me with my sidekicks "before class sometime." Purr. Life rolls on, and it picks up speed once you throw the stagnant stuff to the wayside.
And the Friend Boy? No more phone calls from him (which is good), but we exchange friends-ly e-mail still, and I think hanging-out is still going to happen at some point. Everything is right with the cosmos again. Buck up, heartbroken! Everything will be cool again."
The most adorable fan mail ever, from a reader named Amber:
"I just wanted to let you know that the abbreviation for Baba Ghanouj is the same as the abbreviation for Breakup Girl; so I just wrote a note to someone about a picnic this Saturday and thought of you. Keep up the rockin' work."