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Dear Breakup Girl,
I know you're going to think this is totally crazy. But it's true! I live in
Chicago with my boyfriend. He is a filmmaker and I am a waitress. I've been in
school for a few years, but I'm not sure what I want to do. He, on the other
hand is quite confident and recently had an opportunity to go to Austin, TX and
work on an independent film. He was to be gone for six weeks. I thought that
was ok and that our relationship could handle it. Anyway, here's where it gets
crazy. The star of the movie was Parker Posey. We both really admire her work,
although now, he admires it much more...if you get my drift. Anyway, he
justified it as she is someone we both admire and if I had the day to hang out
and do "girl stuff" with her I would (which is true). So he just hung
out and did "guy stuff." I really don't feel like it's an equal
comparison, but he's so persuasive. He said it doesn't mean anything, but if I
look at it his way, if I went shopping with her all afternoon, even that would
mean something to me. Should I break up with him?
Finally, a celebrity romance story that is my
But you know what, I actually don't get your drift.
What do you mean, "guy stuff?" What actually happened? Did they bond
over WD-40 and play rotisserie baseball, or did they ... hook up? Either way, I
hesitate to say this, but I think you need to take your concern down a
Let's take the worst case scenario (call it
"House of Yes"). I AM NOT SAYING THAT "CHEATING IS OKAY AS LONG
AS IT'S WITH A CELEBRITY." (And it's NEVER okay if it's with that new
stoner MTV veejay, or Dr. Laura.) But I am saying that if there's any case
where a dumbass I-couldn't-resist hookup that has nothing to do with the
quality or appeal of the cheated-on relationship could happen, this is it.
Let's face it, human frailty does include this unfortunate little phenomenon
known, in vulgar terms, as as star-f*ckng (figuratively or literally, as the
case may be). A dalliance in this department is more of a stupid human trick
than a red alert about a particular character or relationship, I think. Put
another way, it's heinous, deserving of censure, but not automatically
impeachable on its own.
And if they did -- as I think you meant to say -- just
hang out, play a little but mostly work (call it "Clockwatchers")?
Well, you should still go ahead and be dramatically jealous. Are you kidding
me? How could you not be? Parker's a babe, Parker's a star; your guy was
actually in her presence. How, you may allow yourself to think, could you ever
compete? BG used to get jealous whenever a particularly discerning ex raved
rapturously about Benazir Bhutto, and it's not even like the two of them were
stepping out to hear Poi Dog Pondering. Your feelings are all legit.
But you should take action on them ONLY if this Parker
thing starts to seep from Austin into reality. When he comes back (if he hasn't
already), is he -- and everything -- the same? Does he treat you fine? If he
seems to be stuck on some kind of residual Posey fantasy, then you may have a
problem -- one for a straight, honest conversation, not an auto-dump. But
otherwise, let me point one thing out: even though anyone in her right mind
would be out-of-her-mind jealous in this case, it certainly doesn't help that
you, basically, are the Clockwatcher at the House of Pancakes. Get my meaning?
He is a filmmaker; you are a waitress. He is "sure" about his
direction; you are not. Boy does fancy Posey look even more intimidating and
threatening in this light! Am I right?
So try to see this for what it is (or, at least, for
what Breakup Girl thinks it is). Think of your own deal this way: "He
worked behind the camera -- she worked behind the counter..." You may be
at the "boy almost loses girl" part of the plot, but there may not be
any reason why yours can't be a Hollywood -- or indie -- love story.
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