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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am fourteen years old, in 9th grade, and I have a serious premonition that I will never go out on a date. Okay, I know you probably think that I'm over reacting, since many, if not most, fourteen year olds don't date. I know that even though I'm not exactly good looking now, there is a possibility that I will become good looking later on. But I think the problem has to do with my personality and the way I act around other people, which are things I can't change. Number one, I get really nervous around most guys. Number two, the only guys I don't get nervous around I have no interest in dating (hence why I'm not nervous around them.) Number three, when I first meet people I can be friendly and charming and funny, but once I've been friends with someone for a while, I just can't talk to those people anymore. All my friendships eventually burn out after a year or so. Every year I end up having to make completely new friends. This scares me. I'm beginning to think that this is a flaw in my personality or psyche or something. If I can't even keep friendships interesting, how can I possibly have a boyfriend? Please give me some advice.

-- Depressed

Dear Depressed,

If you want proof of the possibility of being "good looking later on" look no further than the editor's letter in the new Cosmo Girl magazine, where the even-more-stunning-in-real-life Atoosa Rubenstein photographically outs herself as a recovering dork.

Other than that, the nervous thing: that's normal. Of course you're nervous around the datealicious ones. Makes sense. But you already figured that one out.

About the friendship thing, though, that's kind of funny ... but I don't think it's a flaw. Let me ask you this: are you meeting/making friends with people you want to stay friends with? Maybe you're aiming your friend rays at people who don't make you nervous: people whom you know you can charm ... but that's about it. Maybe you're not losing your touch; maybe you're simply losing interest. When it comes to choosing friends -- and boyfriends -- don't worry about keeping "things" interesting; worry about keeping people interesting.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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