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| July 17, 2000 CONTINUED |
e-mail to a friend in need
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NEXT LETTER > Predicament of the Week
My boyfriend has recently become quite famous. We have decided that we are going to keep going out. However, he is constantly on tour and we hardly ever see each other. He has not invited me to come with him and when I finally confronted him to say that he does not have time for me in his life and why should I sit and wait for him? -- then he changes his tune and says that he will be different. I am so tired of feeling lonely and sad but I really do love him -- or love how he used to be. He keeps asking me to be patient, but I really am confused and do not know what to do. What do you think? -- Confused
Oooh, is he Ikaika!? Sweetie: You "love how he used to be" -- that is a key distinction. I'm not saying, necessarily, that he's changed beyond recognition as a person, or that he's never coming back. But the circumstances -- and the psychological effect they can have -- are serious, and kinda sucky for you. I mean, I've already talked about how going away to college can be this all-consuming change that seems to leave the high school senior in the hometown dust. And that's just real life. Fame is surreal life. (I mean, we're even doing a whole contest about it!) So I'd say, the next time he calls from Capri, or Jones Beach, try to set up some guidelines for an official Long Distance Relationship, Breakup Girl style. Things will be different now, they will. You will be lonely and sad, you will. But if he's willing to work with you to find new cool ways of filling in the gaps (cell phones? IRC?) then it's worth seeing how your relationship can make room for this new phase. It may not work, at least not right away, or at least not 'til he comes back. But if those guys wrote their own songs, I be there'd be one about you. Love, |
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