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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am 42, recently divorced, and just started dating again. I have been seeing the same man for over a year. What is the current protocol for who pays for what on a date. Initially, I insisted that I pay my own way as I did not think we would last. But we are still seeing each other, and I seem to have set a precedent.

We hardly ever go out for meals; mostly do things that don't cost money, i.e. rent a video, visit friends, etc. Lately I have held back offering to pay when we go to a movie. I am thinking that he should be courting me a lot more, or am I out of touch?

-- Deb

Dear Deb,

BG's rules of dating dictate that "Whoever invited pays." That said -- while I'm always a big supporter of avoiding Blockbuster burnout with perma-romance and courtship -- it still seems to me that after a year, such "rules" do get relaxed. Ideally, a couple will have fallen into a pattern not so much of nickel-and-dime quid pro quo, but rather, a more natural exchange of, let's say, in-kind donations. Maybe the person with more cash flow whips out the gold card more often if that makes more sense, but the other makes the plans, meals, etc. So my question to you would be: never mind dollar amounts and checking accounts; do you feel valued? Does your relationship have a sense of balance? At this point, I'd say that's how to assess this investment.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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Should I read my ex's diary...if everyone can?