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Dear Breakup Girl,

Two and a half years ago, right before I graduated from college, I met Him -- tall, dark, and handsome, smart, sensitive, funny, and pre-med. After graduation, I moved to Boston and he to Connecticut, so the commute wasn't too bad. We did the long-distance thing; things got serious, marriage even came up, but the big question was what to do when he began med school, which happened about a month ago.

A pretty typical story, I guess, until now. After giving me a cool shoulder for several weeks, he went off to visit his brother abroad. Upon his return (with med school two weeks away), he didn't even bother to call, let alone visit. I knew what day he'd be back, and my first contact with him was when I saw that he was online. I may be a romantic, but I'm not stupid. I knew that something was up.

Finally, finally, finally, after innumerable "is something wrong, honey, you can tell me" conversations, he dropped the bomb and broke my heart. I wasn't entirely surprised, but I'm miffed that he did it over the phone and has now ceased all contact.

Now comes my question: As part his whole med school process, he's keeping a journal of his day-to-day life online. (Okay, you got me. I did search a little for it, but does that mean that I asked for this?) I certainly am moving on with my life, but I feel more than a little tortured knowing that I could find out what he studied in Biochem today with a mere click of the mouse.

Do I bookmark him or blacklist him? How can I log on to read Breakup Girl without giving in to the temptation to find out what he did last weekend?

I'm really not obsessed, just a little obsessive. Help!

-- Burning with Curiosity

Dear Burning with Curiosity,

Ah, yes. Another postmodern new-media wrinkle in good-old fashioned romance. Well, I definitely think your inner Grownup should set up some sort of Parental Controls. I mean, really. Find other ways to feel the pain and nurse your wounds, but block that site. (Or, for the next little while, find BG on paper instead of online.) Why? Because, with all due respect, it sounds really, really boring. Who cares where he studied biochem today? Well, you do, and that's the point/problem. If he were climbing Mount Everest or kayaking the Amazon or something, then we'd have ourselves a story. But interest in humdrum quotidian minutiae can be fueled by -- and fuel -- only one thing: post-breakup obsession/self-torture. Keep your own journal for now, and you'll eventually start to see that your life is much more interesting when you're not wasting your time on his.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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