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Dear Breakup Girl,

This may sound strange to you, but my boyfriend is juvenile detention right now and I don't know what to do. We've only been together for a little bit -- I love him a lot and he is the sweetest guy in and out of jail. He tells me he really cares for me and will try to do better. He didn't go to jail for anything big -- it's just he's in a gang and he's got caught with them at the wrong time. I really don't want you to tell me to leave him because of what he does. He says he wants to get married, but right now he's too involved with his gang life.

Do you think I should be waiting for him? Or will he go back to what he always does? I really love him, and I know he loves me but I wish he would just do better.

-- Brianna

Dear Brianna,

Oh, I won't tell you to leave him because of what he does. That's about as clueless as telling him to "just say no" to his gang and join the swim team or something.

But I could tell you to leave him because of what he has as much as told you he cannot do: give you a healthy, satisfying, fun taste of boyfriend-flava in your life. You shouldn't have to settle, under these circumstances, for what amounts to a long* distance relationship. Brianna, if you intend to wait for him -- and to tell him so -- I can't stop you. I'm just not convinced it does you justice.

Love,
Breakup Girl

* "long" as in "arm of the law"

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