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Dear Breakup Girl,

I was seeing this guy for around two years. After we returned from vacation, he insisted that I get a house alarm since my garage was broken into recently. He arranged an appointment with a rep from an alarm company. I agreed to meet with the guy, but the system was far too expensive for me afford, it was around $1100.00 (not including the service, for which I had to sign a contract for five years). He said he would buy it for me providing I pay for the monthly service. I agreed, and the system was installed a few days later.

About a week and half later he mentioned that if we stopped seeing each other, he would be out of pocket for the cash he paid for the system. Surprised, I asked if he was going to dump me. He said no. A few weeks later he decided to end the relationship, and said that we should make arrangements for me to repay him for the system. I was stunned and didn't know what to say.

Now, he's been calling to see if I have the money. I haven't returned the calls since I don't know what to do; my name is the only one on the contract, and we do not live together. I just need to know what my rights are on this subject. I feel it was a gift, and don't feel obligated to pay him back. I'm afraid he'll keep calling to the point of harassing me. In his calls, he's saying I'm immature not to return the call, and keeps insisting the alarm was not a gift. If he said "I'll buy it for you," does that not mean just that, and not "you owe me?" Thanks for your help.

-- Alarmed

Dear Alarmed,

If any letter has heralded the death of metaphor, this is it. Talk about alarms going off!

Disclaimer: nothing in this letter should be taken as legal advice. But what a lawyer might note is that in the oral agreement you two made (as far as you describe it), there was nothing to suggest that your keeping the system was contingent on your not hearing the end-of-round bell. I'd say Gift, Yours. Cost, sunk. Harassment, phone or otherwise, possibly illegal. If you have any rights here, it's to be safe and unbothered in your own home. So call the phone company or the cops if it gets to that point. Heck, yet another reason to keep the alarm.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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