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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff up.

Dear Breakup Girl,

I work in politics and had never dated anyone that even remotely works in the same field (the business is tricky enough without that drama). However, I soon met a great guy, and he swept me off my feet.

He called everyday, we tried to make time for each other when our jobs permitted, etc. As we got closer to election day, our jobs got more hectic and calling each other became like something we were checking off on our "to-do" lists. I sensed something was amiss, but I just chalked it up to the crazy, stressful lives that we lead. So now the election is over ('cept for Florida), and the relationship is worse than ever!

In the four months that we've been together, he has never drove to visit me (we live 1.5 hours apart), he is starting to blow me off to go drinking with his buddies, and he won't listen to me anymore -- it's like his brain shuts down when he can't talk about his problems. I keep thinking that this is just post-election depression and stress, and that he will be back to his fantastic-self soon. Late last week, we had a small argument (via cell phone) regarding who was treating whom poorly; he insisted it was me, I insisted it was him. The argument was not even that heated, however now I have not heard from him since, which is odd since we have never gone longer than a day without speaking to each other.

So, I ask you: Do I call this guy and attempt to figure out what is going on, or do I just say, hey, he obviously does not want to chat or he would have returned my message? Since when does a 33-year-old man end a relationship by just not returning phone calls?

-- Shell

Dear Shell,

"Post-election depression!?" I absolutely understand why your brain would go there for some sort of "explanation." Lost ballots are way more palatable than lost interest. And job stress can and does challenge relationships.

That said, IMPORTANT BREAKUP GIRL MAXIM: No one is "too busy" for a relationship that s/he really wants. More specifically, I have to tell you that if someone (other than one of the actual presidential contenders, who at press time were unavailable anyway) told me, "It's not you, it's... 'Chad,'" I'd have to write that candidate off. Of course, this guy could have been a contender -- for your respect, at least -- if he had at least stepped up to give you some sort of polite concession speech. I mean, one is allowed to Just Not Call after a couple of lukewarm dates (a "breakup" might be bizarre awkward overkill); but this wonk needs to drop a freaking dime. Failing/failed that, why not just send a brief, polite, terse -- but not "snippy" -- e-mail saying that you're assuming, unless you hear otherwise, that this one's falling short of the required electoral votes. Hopefully, your next bedfellow will be less strange. And more dimpled.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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