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Dear Breakup Girl,

My husband of three months and I were cleaning up closets and trying to make room for his stuff. I came across a box, and asked him to sort through it and throw out what wasn't needed. After he handed me back the box, he told me it was pictures and stuff he wanted. Again only to get organized, I opened the box and was going to add his pictures to mine. Much to my surprise, I found pictures of his other girl friends naked!!!!!!!

I asked him to leave, and wouldn't listen to any explanations. I even smashed the camera that he had taken similar photos of me with. The bottom line is everything he told me about our relationship being different and special now seems like a lie. Should I accept that it was his past and he didn't realize he still had those, or figure he is just another liar and women all fall for his cute stories that they are special?

Help!!!!! I love him, but I don't know if I will ever trust him again.

--Sherry

Dear Sherry,

Eeek! You opened that box to find, like, naked pictures of Pandora herself. Look, I can totally understand why you freaked out, why you Sean Penned his camera.

But if you do want to try to work this out, you do eventually have to listen to Packrat's explanations. Which better be good. For tough questions like: So why'd you keep this little collection ? For the articles? And why on earth did you hand me that damn box? I mean, under these rare circumstances, the main thing I'm concerned about is not whether he's a liar, but that he's a bad liar. If he wants to keep them (as prurient keepsakes, not as part of the active lending collection), he needs to hide them. Well. I mean, what was he thinking? Was he being deliberately mean? Or just careless? Either way, eeuw. This, and not the bare naked ladies themselves, is where you need to look in terms of understanding and rebuilding trust.

Because Sherry, unless these pictures -- or the fingerprints on them -- are less than three months old, I'm not convinced that these developments constitute an automatic deal-breaker. You're wondering if your relationship is different and special from all the rest? Well, Sherry, he married you. You guys have wedding pictures. Wedding night pictures, maybe even, but that's none of my business.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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