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SHOUTOUTS

For Sad but not Angry from Lora:

Just letting you know how much I appreciated your letter. Talk about your contradictions...I was in a relationship (about the same length of time) with a guy who (less than a week before he ended it) told me point blank he was still interested in me and the relationship and still initiated sex. Then, the last time I saw him (dinner/movie), he kept putting his arm around me, holding my hand, kissing me, and at the end of the evening, said only "bye." I haven't heard from him since (over two months ago).

It left me feeling like he didn't have enough respect for me or my feelings to just say "I think we should stop seeing each other," which would have hurt, but I certainly could have handled it. I've tried not to be bitter about it (rather unsuccessfully, I guess), but I haven't given up on finding a man with more character. Anyway, I'm glad you got to experience a measure of happiness with a true gentleman. Good luck!

For Antonia from Kelia:

I consider myself a foreigner living in America for many years, and a sassy gal. There are several places you can definitely go where men would love to hear about your living-abroad experience. One is the grad school, where there are many cute foreign students from various continents of the world. Second is a big city such as Boston; all my colleagues here are foreigners.

But, if you want to find an American guy as a future partner, then perhaps learning a few things about cell phones and mortgages is essential to show that you are indeed living in the 21st century. Get out there -- volunteer or get in touch with your alumni group. Above all, don't be afraid to be yourself and tell people what interests you the most. If they can't relate to your topic, then it's their loss. Good luck.

For Natalie from Mike:

You said what we have all felt at some time or another; better than I have ever heard it said before. Hang in there, it will improve. We've all been there before, I promise, but, all that will heal you is time.