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Dear Breakup Girl,

How could I have been so blind?? My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years was cheating on me, and broke up with me before Christmas for her. I had no clue the whole time. I am just so shocked and hurt that I cannot even write him nasty letter or wreak some dirty revenge. As I am healing, however, I just want one final edge in scorning him: If I see him in public, I just want to coolly humiliate him in front of his peers/people/in general. No tongue-lashing-- just a calm, collected, well-timed derogatory remark that will make him look bad without making me look bad. Do you think this is a good idea?? I know the whole schpiel about moving on and ignoring him, etc, etc, but this is one way to do it. Yes? No? Please help me, Breakup Girl! I'm sure some other people want a dignified, mild form of revenge as well.

-- Trying Not to Cry

Dear Trying,

You can accomplish this goal with one word.

HIM: Uh hey, how are you?
YOU: Fine.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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