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Diary Entry 3

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Tuesday, May 5

Lucky, lucky Brian Thomas. That name ring a bell? He was one of the two elite Grand Prize winners in Breakup Girl's Valentine's Day Haiku Contest.

(Winning entry:
Am I over her?
Why, did she ask about me?
Wait, where you going?)

Do you love this boy? Anyway, teeny world, it turns out -- BG's panel of celebrity haiku judges did not know this before -- that BT is a friend of BG's Seattle host, Colin. So now, besides the loot that Brian already scored -- a signed copy of He Loved Me, He Loves Me Not, a BG keychain, and a special limited edition BG cap -- ... tell the folks what Brian has also won!

A chance to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Breakup Girl!

Even if you're not on the Sunnydale/Hellmouth pep squad, pay attention: we can all learn something here. I've said it before, I'll say it again -- all you BG-advice-seekers: you think you've got problems, how about "My boyfriend has no reflection in a mirror, what should I do?" And that was when the Buffster had it easy.

Brief synopsis: Buffy -- Valley Girl/anointed vamp Slayer -- was in love with babelicious bloodsucker Angel, who, Gypsy curse, yada yada yada, also happened to have a soul (macho AND sensitive, yum.) Until. B & A do the wild thing. Angel experiences a moment of pure happiness. Result: the curse is lifted. Angel's soul vanishes, and pure-vamp, pure-evil Angelus returns. (Damn. And they're wondering why teen sex rates are dropping.) We are talking eeeeevil. And not just evil, but also mean: like, he kills people (notably, Buffy's teacher, Miss Callender-- a descendant of the cursin' Gypsies and the squeeze of the slayer-mentor Giles) and makes wheelchair jokes.

So for once, a gal's hoping that the guy she slept with won't call. Angelus wants Buffy, dead or undead. Buff, needless to say, is bummed. She feels responsible, angry, lonely, betrayed -- and she's got her French grade to worry about, too. Can she do her duty and wooden-stake Bad Angel? Should she slay or let it go?

All of which brings us to a recent "Help Me, Breakup Girl!:"

Dear Breakup Girl,

Love your page. Silly question, I guess -- but do you think Buffy should take Angel back (presuming he gets his soul back before she stakes him)? I have to admit that even though I'm hoping that Angel is restored, I think Angelus is pretty wicked and sexy -- which goes a long way in explaining my own love life, but that would be another letter.

-- A Fan

Dear Fan,

Should Dawson get a grip and go for Joey? That's a silly question. But Buffy and Angel: this is serious.

For those of you non-Slayer-Watchers playing along at home, the real question here is: should you take someone back after they reaaaally reeeaaaally mess up?

Just for the sake of argument, I do think Buffy is prepared to slay Angelus. We saw her unforgiving road rage against lady-killing Ghost Boy two episodes ago, where we also saw her at least go through the motions of offing him, possessed though she was. Somehow, Joss & Co. will prove to us that she could kill him -- along with the ideal of young love -- but she won't. It's too much of a plot (and casting) dead-end.

But even if Willow does find the secret missing disk containing Windows to the Soul '98, B & A can not just go back to the way things were as if no bad mojo had ever gone down. Among other things, Angelus killed Jenny Callender, and as BG's friend Colin (an adjunct professor of Sunnydale Studies) points out: "The moment Jenny's lights went out, the stakes -- so to speak -- were raised." So. Before Buffy can/should take Angel back, he has to come through with some other major, massive, mondo redeeming act. Not just soul replacement therapy, something beyond that: say, he sacrifices something in return for the ressurection of Jenny? He gives up his immortality? (Or would that be too much like that new Ryan/Cage joint?) Plus some guarantee -- in so far as it's possible -- that this Angelus thing won't happen again.

That's the thing, you guys: Breakup Girl does believe in forgiveness, rehabilitation, second chances. She does not believe in instant replays, empty promises, saying "I've changed!" without walking the walk. You let someone back for a do-over, you don't just rewind and push play; you ask: What will be different this time? How will I know? Different expectations, different rules. Otherwise you get: more of the same.

Got it?

I will say, though, that the consensus of the Seattle Buffyklatsch was this: before anyone gets his soul back, we wouldn't mind, in a sweeps-week crossover, seeing Spike, Drusilla and Angelus kicking some Dawson ass.

Oh, and Miss Fan: whenever you wanna write that letter about your own love life, I'm all ears.

Breakup Girl

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