John Cusack:
The Gregoire Tribute To An Icon Of Hollywood Romance

In September, I gave out my first Tribute to that moussed maestro of moviedom, Corey Haim. This month, I turn to an even more substantial romantic hero from the 1980s: John Cusack, the trim, dot-eyed everyboy who has given us some of the finest, most believable portrayals of lovelorn lads in the past 20 years.

John is not merely a likable pawn in a string of middling-to-excellent motion pictures. I maintain that JC is the first actor to develop a distinctive character over the course of several unrelated films, a character that develops from experiences and flourishes to this day. This is not merely a result of typecasting, as when Melanie Griffith plays bimbos, or when Sean Connery plays gruff, adventurous old codgers. Rather, it's the purposeful development of an "artist" character who is more concerned with his work than with the glittery glare of glamour, whose attitude toward love grows up as he does.

The Five Stages Of Cusackism

This "character" JC has created can be traced through five levels of growth:

1) Mental Embryo
The seeds of JC's film oeuvre features him in states of awkward, near moronic growth, a speck upon a rugged terrain where sexuality struggles to grow in the onion fields of Reaganomics and neon ties. He's a mere observer to "Graduate"-esque seduction in his debut "Class" (starring a sleazily mature Andrew McCarthy and Rob Lowe) and forgettable amidst the dusty auto derbies and busty-yet-strangely-manly Jamie Lee Curtis of "Grandview U.S.A." But by the time of his brief-though-memorable stint as a member of Farmer Ted's poindexter allegiance in "Sixteen Candles," he was ready for the spotlight and some Clearasil.

2) Unformed Manchild
Soon he was beset by brainless scripts, capturing the 80s fascination with horny youth. But the hollow, pre-AIDS-aware randiness of "The Sure Thing" and "One Crazy Summer" (with the exquisite Demi Moore as a Lita Ford-like rocker) clung a bit differently to JC than it did his fellow teen vessels C. Thomas Howell and Matt Dillon.

His exclamations of "gettin' laid" and "scorin' babes" had a ring of falseness, a sense of subjugation to an unwanted ideal. We knew he was worth more than a cheap screw on a pile of pink Izods. In "Better Off Dead," we mark the emerging maturity: in his growing attraction to his French neighbor Monique, in his apologies for blowing up Ricky's mother, and in his steadfast reserve for not giving the newspaper boy two dollars.

3) Awakening
And then, like the suddenness a festering chancre, he blossomed into a sensitive-male ideal. In "Say Anything," JC developed into a thinking, breathing intellectual, pensive and frazzled, but holding his indecision high, like a ghetto blaster declaring Peter Gabriel.

One thing he was not confused about, however, was his love for Ione Skye. His love was so powerful that it completely destroyed her film career, and she's yet to make anything very good since then.

4) Complication
As his physical frame grew, so did the confusion and injured self-confidence. Once a horndog bent on "doing" Nicolette Sheridan, he now faced heightened senses of disillusionment; his characters were passionate, but distant from love.

Witness his job frustration as a manipulated playwright in "Bullets Over Broadway," a potential cereal mogul in "The Road To Wellville," and a wistful assassin in "Grosse Point Blank." Why, even in "The Grifters," he had to discard his player girlfriend and cast off his tawdry occupation to find the real "sure thing" -- the incestual love of good ole mom. (And if Anjelica Huston was your mom, who wouldn't take the bait? Hmm... Angelina Jolie?)

5) Rebirth
Sure, one may watch "Being John Malkovich" surfacely as an absurd mind-twisting farce, but you can also watch it as a parable of Cusack's rapid mental digression from moral purgatory to spoiled degenerate. [Gregoire Reality Note: if you actually thought of it this way, I'd hate to know you.]

And then, in "High Fidelity" -- clearly a genuine labor-of-love for Johnny, as his name was EVERYwhere in the credits -- suddenly he's got it all worked out. He plays Nick Hornsby's record-store owner as an amalgamation of all his previous characters.

Could that stuck-up Catherine Zeta-Jones actually be stuck-up Daphne Zuniga from "The Sure Thing"? Is Lili Taylor filling in for her "Say Anything" costar Ione Skye? Doesn't Iben Hjejle (JC's Robin-Wright-Penn-look-alike girlfriend in "High Fidelity") look an awful lot like a more mature Beth Truss from "Better Off Dead"?

Even JC faves Tim Robbins and sis Joan make an appearance, as though all his 80s universes were crowding in to say hi. After disregarding his job and employees for an entire film -- and, indeed, for an entire career -- he finally finds job satisfaction at the same moment he recognizes that he truly has love in his grasp.

What, oh what, can he follow this up with, I wonder?

The John Cusack Guide To Love

Contained within his many films are a few nuggets of advice that you may easily apply to your own life. Consider was JC says:

On the cosmic significance of love:
"Consider outer space. From the time of the first NASA mission, it became evident that being in outer space has a profound effect on the human psyche. During the first Gemini mission, some followers were actually given to the notion of sending a man and a woman together. Cosmic Adam and Eve if you will, bound together in a highly sophisticated nerve center at the head of the most powerful rocket yet known. It's giant thrusters blasting into the dark void as they hurtle toward their final destination: the gushing wellspring of life itself. How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?"
-- JC's first pickup line in The Sure Thing

On passion:
-"You look ravishing and I'd like to chew on your thighs."
-"I thought we had a professional relationship."
-"So I'll pay."
-- Tapeheads

On sharing with your partner:
"You're looking pretty bad today. You belong in bed. Here. I'll give you part of mine."
-- JC, to his nurse, in The Grifters

On ice-breaking:
"How's this for an opening line -- did you know that Nietzche died of syphilis?"
-- The Sure Thing

On being humble:
-"Can I buy you a drink, Maxine?"
-"Are you married?"
-"Yes, but enough about me"
-- Being John Malkovich

On flattery:
"You smell good, Myra. Like a bitch in a hot house."
-- The Grifters

On the transforming power of love:
"I was hired to kill you. But I'm not going to. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or I have a newfound respect for life."
-- Grosse Point Blank

On logistics:
"I'm not going to bed with you. I'm going to bed in a bed that you happen to be in also."
-- The Sure Thing

On unfulfilling sacrifice:
"I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen."
-- Say Anything

On being selective:
-"So, which conversation shall we join?"
-"The one least likely to involve gunfire."
-- Midnight In the Garden...

On foreshadowing:
"I met her in a mall. I should have known our relationship was through."
-- Say Anything

On drive:
-"You, you've got no ambition! You're content just existing! You need what I've got, brother."
-"Herpes?"
-- Tapeheads

On conformity:
"They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something, and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? 'I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork! How've you been?'"
-- Grosse Point Blank

On the horror of the mundane:
"I used to work at a smorgasbord. And the old people would flock there and they love to eat and they just jam their mouths. Eat with their mouths open. It's just too much for me."
-- Say Anything

On career decisions:
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed. Or repair anything sold, bought or processed.... So what I've been doing lately is kickboxing."
-- Say Anything

On communication:
"Are you with me or do you need me to draw it in crayon like usual?"
-- Con Air

On the cleansing power of companionship:
"With friends like you, who needs enemas!"
-- The Road To Wellville

Readers Say Anything

From the mountains of responses I received regarding John Cusack, here a few of the more lucid ones which describe some very individual feeling for the influential star...

"Gregoire, When I was in high school in the mid-'80s, I developed a major crush on Mr. Cusack, mainly because he seemed so different from all the hair-gelled pinup-boy movie stars that the teen mags were pushing at us. (Read: any star of 'The Lost Boys.') John seemed smarter and quirkier, like he secretly drove a hipster VW Bug and played mix cassettes with The Replacements and The Violent Femmes. More importantly, he was adorable -- can anyone watch 'Say Anything' and not melt like butter? And of all my high school crushes -- Robert Downey Jr. and Matthew Broderick also fall in this category -- John is the only one who has been consistently entertaining into his late 20s and 30s. I'm sure he'll still make good movies when he's 60."

And I'm sure I don't need to remind you that John's clearly a bit more responsible than either Downey (currently in prison for drug usage and possession) or Broderick (who made "Godzilla," shame on you!).

"Gregoire, I think my first Cusack experience was 'Sixteen Candles,' in which he played the sci-fi-obsessed friend of Farmer Ted, and did a fab job. But he really won the hearts of my generation in films like 'Better Off Dead,' and 'Say Anything,' where he played the quirky romantic who will go to any length to win the girl, even though she may be way out of his league. I dare you to find one girl who went to high school in the 80s that doesn't have the scene where he holds up the boom box to play 'In Your Eyes' for Ione Skye in 'Say Anything' burned into her psyche! In the 80s, Cusack defined the lovable diamond-in-the-rough that every sane girl preferred to the typical jock heartthrob."

You know, I tried that holding-up-the-boom-box thing on a former love once and was promptly arrested. Unfortunately, I was playing the wrong Peter Gabriel song, "Shock The Monkey." (Watch the monkey get hurt! Monkey!)

"Darling G-man, Being absolutely enamored with the fabulous John Cusack, I had to add my two cents to your quest to explore his genius! What is it that has some of us so taken with him, and yet others have no clue who he is? I like to think that we are more discerning when it comes to genius. After all, he does have the eyes, the hair and the sense of humor -- ah, but some people just don't get that sense of humor, do they?? It's the dry, cerebral humor that turns me on. Intelligence, people! I think John is a kind of voice of a generation. Even in the movies few people saw ('Grosse Point Blank,' 'Pushing Tin' -- both in my video cabinet), he displays such wit, such charisma... I have to go watch one of the movies now, I've gotten myself all worked up!"

Your zeal reminds me that you should visit the Couch of Happiness at where people may leave their fantasies regarding Mr. Cusack. I'd suggest, dearest reader, that your rush there at once!

"Gregoire Lovey, First things first, I was devastated when I discovered that John Cusack is dating Neve Campbell!?! And that they might be engaged! Say it ain't so, Gregoire! Oh, the horror.

Second, the local Adult Education Center here in Cambridge is having a summer class that examines the films of John Cusack. What a great idea. However, I can't be bothered to shell out the $151 course fee just to ogle Johnny... I can do that in the privacy of my own home, honey."

How ironic that the ultimate 80s college slackboy would be studied at one of the finest universities in the world! And as for your other inquiry...

What IS Up With That Neve Thing?!

Alas, the universal concern among John Cusack fans is "the Neve Campbell thing." He is, in fact, currently dating the intensely jawed "Party of Five" actress and has intimated to some sectors of the press that he's ready to marry the "Scream" siren. In the recent issue of Detour with JC on the cover, however, he responds to an inquiry of his love life with an, "Uh, no comment," as if he had something to hide, as if he were Matt Damon! What's the real dish with Johnny and this soon-to-be-former TV star? With his stern resolve to remain a private celebrity, we may never know. (Thankfully, no doubt, Neve will blab everything!)

Final Thoughts on JC

-- Since John Cusack and Tim Robbins are good friends, do you think that Susan Sarandon is good friends with Neve Campbell?

-- Number of actors nominated for Oscars in John Cusack movies: 8 (Catherine Keener for "Being John Malkovich," William Hurt and Holly Hunter for "Broadcast News," Angelica Huston and Annette Bening in "The Grifters," Jennifer Tilly, Chazz Palmenteri and Dianne Wiest for "Bullets Over Broadway")

-- Number of acting Oscars won by actors in all John Cusack movies: 1 (Dianne Wiest)

-- Number of John Cusack's Oscar nominations: 0 (Boo!)

-- Funniest combination of John Cusack movie titles: Fat Man And Natty Gann

-- Prove or disprove this conundrum: John Cusack is attractive because he isn't very attractive.

-- Does Cusack mean "underrated" in Celtic? John and his sister -- the legendary Joan -- are always referred to as "underrated" or "underappreciated." Well, not in this column, dear readers. I'd knock Julia Roberts off her throne any day and put Joan in her place. And as for John? He already reigns supreme in the book of Gregoire...

Until "Better Off Dead" becomes part of the national film registry,
Gregoire

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