e-mail to a friend in needWhat single women can learn from Michelle O.
Writing in today’s WaPo, Jenée Desmond-Harris wonders: “It’s easy to see now that [Barack Obama] was a great catch, but how many of us would have been open to this guy who strayed so far from the black Prince Charming ideal, starting with his very name?” Her exhortation: “[I]f black women are going to defy the statistics, they need to start being more realistic. Holding out for the perfect man, someone who is intellectual but not nerdy—cool but not arrogant—impeccably dressed but not effeminate—not a player but with just the right amount of edge—is useless.” Read the piece, then let us know: just another scolding for the “picky“* among us, or does Desmond-Harris have a point?
* “picky,” as in: about the person with whom you’re going to spend the rest of your life
From the article:
“We expect men to resist what society tells them about ideals when it comes to us … We’re justifiably upset when unrealistic standards are imposed on us, but many of us don’t seem to give black men any breaks in return when it comes to the superficial.”
I think this reaches the heart of the matter. We expect potential partners to relax their standards to the point where they’ll recognize what a terrific catch we are, but we don’t realize that we have to do the exact same thing to the same degree. (Or possibly to a “greater” degree, given how much we tend to overvalue our own worth.)
Comment by Karl R — June 9, 2009 @ 10:13 am
hmmm you have a point…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Comment by Alex — July 22, 2009 @ 7:25 am