So lost without you, on January 26, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been in love with my girlfriend for the past four years and am still very much in love with her. Unfortunately, she has decided she is no longer in love with me. We have lived together for the entire time; now we are apart for the first time. She is my whole life. How in the heck am I supposed to fall out of love with her?

— Rich, Lost in Love

Dear Lost in Love,

Oh, Rich. If Breakup Girl had to answer only one letter this week — this month, this year — it might well be yours. Your question speaks for all dumpees, ever.

On the other hand, Breakup Girl secretly wishes she could yell at her intern for losing your letter. That’s because (a) she wishes she had an intern, and (b) now that you’ve raised the eternal question, she hesitates to say that she has no easy answers.

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Not paying attention on January 26, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
How do you know if a guy likes you or not?
–Julie

Dear Julie,
Who remembers?
Oh, you mean “likes you.”
Love, 
Breakup Girl

that Jerry Seinfeld may not be the one who’ll bring a fresh voice to relationship comedy?

Via The Frisky:

Sure, the Web has made many aspects of our lives easier, but it’s also complicated a few things—specifically, how we date, flirt and meet potential love interests. And while the date movie du jour, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” may seem a few years behind, we’ve pulled together a helpful up-to-date guide to Flirting 2.0.

Click here for excellent graphic flow chart.

BG is loving the single moms on American Idol right now (thanks to all-time fave Fantasia — and Nikki McKibbin, too — for paving the way!). I also just happened to e-meet this single momma, who (a) moved to Kentucky for love, but (b) hasn’t forgotten where she came from; she founded and runs the social network i heart single parents, which you should definitely check out. Searching in New Hampshire, I’m talking to you!

We knew — or at least hoped — it! A clever sign-o-times hoax!

You know your “porn name,” but what about your first album? BuzzFeed offers this amazingly effective recipe using the power of the internet:

1. Band name = Random article from Wiki
2. Album title =  Last 4 or 5 words from The Quotation Page’s random quotes
3. Album cover = Whatever the third picture is on Flickr’s “explore the last 7 days” page

Here’s what I came up with:

Dave Hamrick and Lindsey Nebeker, two people diagnosed with autism — and madly in love — are scheduled to appear on tomorrow’s Good Morning America. (Close to the top of the second hour, we hear.) From their profile (by BG’s alter ego) in this month’s Glamour:

“People like Lindsey and Dave put so much thought and dedication into making their relationship work,” says Diane Twachtman-Cullen, Ph.D., a speech-language expert who specializes in autism and knows the couple well. “Frankly, we could all take a page from their playbook.”

From the Chicago Tribune:

Ed Loos, a junior at Lake Forest High School, said a common reaction among students to Chris Brown’s alleged attack on Rihanna goes something like this: “Ha! She probably did something to provoke it.” In Chicago, Sullivan High School sophomore Adeola Matanmi has heard the same. “People said, ‘I would have punched her around too,’ ” Matanmi said. “And these were girls!”

As allegations of battery swirl around the famous couple, experts on domestic violence say the response from teenagers just a few years younger shows the desperate need to educate this age group about dating violence.

Yep.

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… for someone who will lead you to shore when a shark bites your head?