“Do women actually wonder “Will he still respect me?” … or is that just a cliche from an earlier generation?”
Karl, where are all the men like you in MY world? LOL
Speaking from my own experience, yes, I’ve thought of that. I’ve thought of it when I had sex on the 2nd date, and when I’ve had it on the 5th or 6th date. I’ve thought of it when having conversations about each others’ wild youth.
And the last guy I went out with, it happened on the 2nd date. He called me the next day, first thing in the morning, I went over that night and we did it again. And then… he threw it in my face as much as he could, whenever he could. For nearly 6 months. *sigh*
Sorry, but that was the first time I’d been with someone in 5 years. I was totally into him, and he was totally into me. We clicked from minute one. I didn’t regret it, but I’m here to tell you that it’s definitely not going to happen that way again anytime soon for me. Yes, I know he was “the wrong guy”, clearly, but I don’t want to be “that girl” either.
Comment by Terminally Single - Like Cancer — July 7, 2008 @ 2:07 pm
I agree with Terminally single, especially in this day and age of online dating you may talk to this person for weeks and really click before you ever meet them Yet its still the first date and you want it to go somewhere but there is now physical “attraction plus” to the person you were already attracted to over the phone.
Terminally single I am sending you extra Hugs Sunshine and Smiles, it sounds like you have had it rough. I do want you to think about something though, don’t punish yourself or mister right who might come along because you aren’t the problem. The ones who cheated on you are, you are still the same beautiful, strong woman you were before you went through all of this.
Just look at those relationships and take the happy times and look at why things went south, make a list of what you want and dont want and keep your options open. I had a girlfriend who was dating and it always seemed to end some after months others after hours and after a while she was like what is wrong with me it has to be me and I said why. We are supposed to date and weed out the ones that don’t work maybe something we thought we wanted we realize we don’t want anymore. Look at all of this as a growth lesson I am sure there are signs you look for now so you don’t go down that road again.
I am still on friendly terms with all the men i have dated seriously even the ones who cheated on me because I can’t say i love them but only if you love me because i loved them for many reasons. Also I want someone who wants me I don’t want them to stay with me if they desire someone else. I want them to be with me because they desire me and because I bring something positive to their life. While it would be nice to have someone I am ok without someone, nobody needs anyone to justify who they are.
Anyway I got off track,
Hugs Sunshine and Smiles I hope some of this helped
I thought it an interesting way to finish off the comic. No easy open and shut answer….
It was nice that the guy was okay with waiting.
Its really up to the person in this day and age, but one thing I keep hearing again and again, if you give up the “first time” away right away, you end up wondering whether they like you for what they wanted so quickly or for who you ARE(personality, etc). B/C you only get one “first time” with the person you are with.
Me, I’ve been fairly keen on the abstienence trip and its worked out okay. It actually has helped me weed out the fellas I should be with due to an issues with values. At one point I would have “given it up” for the Right Person, but only with much discussion, STD testing, the works. B/C I figure if you ARE going to have sex with that person you’d better be safe than sorry. I’d rather be in a commited relationship with the person as opposed to what the character did here, but to each his own. That is my 2 cents
I don’t know where to find guys like me in YOUR world. It takes half of my attention just to know where I am in MY world.
I was amazed at the hypocrisy of the last guy you went out with. What was he throwing in your face? He’d had sex on the second date and the following evening. Whatever he had to say about you applied equally to him as well.
Any one of my girlfriends (past or present) would not hesitate to call me out on that kind of hypocrisy … and that’s going to be a common attitude among the women that I seek to date. I like verbal banter and teasing as much as anyone, but there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed.
I’m brainstorming here, but I’m thinking that a woman who won’t tolerate that kind of behavior is more likely to end up with a man who wouldn’t act that way in the first place.
TSLC, by saying that it won’t happen like that again, it sounds almost like you’re blaming yourself for the way he acted (throwing it in your face). You didn’t do anything wrong, he did. And Karl’s right, if it were me, I’d say, “you had sex on the 2d date, too, ya know!”
I’d never think less of someone I was dating for doing what I myself would do (or have done) unless I already think less of myself for doing it. And even then I’d be compassionate about it. I remember dating a girl once who told me she didn’t want to have sex with me on the first date because she liked me too much. What about the second date, I asked. No problem, she said. So our second date started at midnight that night.
It’s worked out okay so far. We’ve been married 3.5 years now.
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