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February 24, 2010

Moving in? Get it in writing!

Filed under: News — posted by Amy @ 9:57 am

Everyone except Tiger Woods knows marriage is a commitment. But moving in together? That’s just supposed to be funzy, right? Well sure, in the beginning — but if things go south, things can get nasty. Specifically, things. She didn’t realize she was supposed to pay half the rent; he thought sharing a space meant he now owns her antique rugs. So we like this Salon article about the mini-boom, at least in New York, where real estate is crazytown, of pre-prenups. Unromantic, maybe, but hey, so is sharing a bathroom. It’s not so crazy to demystify the process and go into a shacking-up sitch with a clear idea of what you both want out of it — both short- and long-term. Maybe you won’t opt for a legal agreement, but guides and workbooks abound. It’s nothing but smart to take advantage.

Update/addendum: Can you think of a time when you wished you had a pre-pre-nup? Like, even an imaginary one, so you could have worked out beforehand who gets the DVDs vs. who “gets” the  bagel place?

Plus: More on getting your stuff back here.


9 Comments »

  1. […] This post, written by Amy Keyishian, originally appeared at BreakupGirl.net. […]

    Pingback by Props to the pre-pre-nup? « SpeakEasy — February 24, 2010 @ 11:01 am

  2. I mourn the great many albums and CDs I’ve lost over the years during the course of breakups (whether we lived together or not). Cuz I’ve never much believed in the “hey can you give my stuff back?” post-break-up phone call, which usually sounds like an excuse to see the person, and can often result in a relapse. I consider these lost items the tax on love.

    Comment by Paula — February 24, 2010 @ 11:34 am

  3. My roommate and I dated for four years and have lived together for six – yeah, we’ve been broken up and living together for two years. I really wish I had a pre-pre-nup going into moving in with him, because now, we’re finally getting ready to get out of our apartment together and move in our separate directions, he with his new girlfriend and me with my new guy, and there’s a lot of debate about who is getting what. Some of the wheelings and dealings that have gone on in the past 6 months: I get our cockatiel and our finches; he gets the Angel series DVD collection and I get Buffy (obviously, I win that one!); he gets Monty Python’s Flying Circus complete series and I get the collection of Scrubs seasons; I get the anime and he gets the martial arts flicks; he gets the video game systems and I get the Blu-Ray player.

    I’ve got three months until I move, so now we’re in crunch time – we’ve got so much stuff to divide, particularly with DVDs and CDs. We’re trying to do it diplomatically ( “Six Feet Under was a gift, so you keep it,” “I paid for it, but the Wii will only collect dust with me, so you take it” ), but it would have been nice to have something documented and signed going into this! You can bet I’m going to look into guides and workbooks the next time I shack up with a guy!

    Comment by Allie — February 27, 2010 @ 1:38 pm

  4. […] don’t forget the pre-prenup! Tags: cohabitation, dating, divorce, living together, love, marriage, morality, pre-nups, […]

    Pingback by Breakup Girl » Study: Living in sin not so bad after all — March 11, 2010 @ 10:57 am

  5. […] Just don’t forget the pre-prenup! […]

    Pingback by Study: Living in sin not so bad after all « SpeakEasy — March 11, 2010 @ 11:00 am

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  8. Hi Lisa,During my practicum for my Virtual Assistant crusoe, I had 2 such clients. I was ready to send them a mock bill showing them how much it would have cost them if they were paying for the services that I provided. It sure felt good when I told them that my practicum would soon be over and that I would like to finish their projects before it ended, otherwise they would be paying for my time. These were the type of clients that didn’t give you much information about what they wanted and were very vague about their replies when I asked them questions in order for me to have a better idea of what they wanted.This type of client is very hard to work with. I think that in the future if I was to have a client like this, I wouldn’t have any problem letting them know that we are not a good fit.

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