Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

May 24, 2010

Relationship hacks

Filed under: blogs — posted by Breakup Girl @ 5:41 am

BG can’t believe it’s taken her this long to stumble across the incredibly useful, borrowed-from-techno concept of “relationship hacks.” (Then again, I’m one of those Luddites who hasn’t yet tweaked her iPhone to circumvent AT&T.) I’m not talking about hacky comics who are all, “Aren’t men and women different? FOLKS!” or hacking your way into your sigO’s Hotmail account, or their MIND, in order to access suspect correspondence, offshore account numbers, etc. I — along with a whole bunch of smarties who beat me to it — am using the basic metaphor of re-configuring a system to function in ways not part of the original design. A clever fix, a wise workaround. There is a Relationship Hacks website, but a livelier and more recent conversation seems to have gone on in this Ask Metafilter thread. To get the ball rolling, Wyzewoman poses this question:

A few times over the years, I’ve solved a relationship problem in a way that I was really proud of, because the solution met everybody’s needs when it looked like such a solution didn’t exist. I still turn back to these examples when I’m faced with a new difficulty, because I may be able to model a new solution out of the old ones.

An example of what I’m talking about: a roommate declared one day that he was no longer willing to share dishes with me: I didn’t wash them well enough for his liking, even after repeated reminders. Well, that sucked — it would be extra time, expense, and bother. But, we were able to talk about it calmly, and we worked out that really it was only the glasses that I drank milk out of which weren’t getting cleaned well. So I suggested that I get a set of milk-drinking-glasses, just for me, and that we continue to share the rest of the dishes. And it worked! We never fought about dishes again. The lesson I learned from that: try to whittle a problem down to its smallest core, and solve that. [Emphasis added by BG.]

It’s just a silly example — drinking glasses! — but I’ve remembered this incident for years, and modified the solution in various other issues of household maintenance. I’d love to have other examples to draw upon going forward. So, MeFites, when did you come up with a relationship solution that you were particularly proud of, and what lessons did you draw from it?

Responses include: Never use “but,” “should,” or fake “I’m fine”; the FailDance(tm); and my favorite, The Great Game of Moral High Ground. Read, learn, apply, and come back here to share your best hacks. (As above with the glasses, roommate — and family — relationships count, too.)


  1. backlink indexer

    Comment by instant link indexer — September 27, 2016 @ 9:00 am

  2. I have read some excellent stuff here. Definitely price bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot effort you place to make the sort of magnificent informative site.

    Comment by Lindsay — September 27, 2016 @ 10:26 am

  3. So John, your argument is so weak and lame that the only government agency you quote is the CDC. That John is equivalent to sending soil samples to the IRS for analysis. If you want accurate statistics on crime you need to consult the UCR, which is the Uniform Crime Report that is published annually by the FBI. It is a complete list of felony crimes that are reported each year in the United States. It is very thorough and not only are the crimes broken down into categories of severity, but also to each individual state, county, and city in America. Since you chose to ignore the UCR it is apparent either you do not know what the hell you are talking bout OR the UCR accurately did not support your point of view. One other thing I would like to bring to your attention John, Chicago and Cook County have just about the strictist gun laws in the country. Obviously those strict laws have not deterred the murder rate increases. It is also obvious that the $25.00 county tax increase on each gun sold has not had any effect either.
    bvlgari diamond pendant replica [url=http://www.bzero.cn/en/bvlgari-bzero1-necklace-white-gold-paved-diamond-pendant-p-236.html]bvlgari diamond pendant replica[/url]

    Comment by bvlgari diamond pendant replica — September 28, 2016 @ 6:59 am

  4. Well I don’t agree with that definition at all. Because if you’re not a theist you could be an agnostic.
    replica orologi pasha cartier

    Comment by replica orologi pasha cartier — September 28, 2016 @ 9:22 am

  5. I?¦ve read some excellent stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how much attempt you put to create such a magnificent informative website.

    Comment by vpn 购买 — September 30, 2016 @ 1:29 am

  6. You have mentioned very interesting details! ps nice site.

    Comment by vpn 中国 — September 30, 2016 @ 2:31 am

  7. I do enjoy the way you have framed this specific challenge and it does indeed present us some fodder for consideration. Nevertheless, from what I have observed, I just trust when the feedback stack on that folks continue to be on issue and not get started on a tirade associated with the news of the day. Yet, thank you for this outstanding point and though I can not necessarily agree with the idea in totality, I value the perspective.

    Comment by vpn 购买 — September 30, 2016 @ 3:02 am

  8. I’d have to examine with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I take pleasure in reading a post that may make folks think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to comment!

    Comment by maps — September 30, 2016 @ 2:52 pm

  9. Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your site. You have some really good posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Regards!

    Comment by check these guys out — September 30, 2016 @ 4:35 pm

  10. Hi there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

    Comment by vanity mirror — October 1, 2016 @ 4:43 am

  11. Way cool, some valid points! I appreciate you making this article available, the rest of the site is also high quality. Have a fun.

    Comment by read — October 1, 2016 @ 9:21 am

  12. Some truly great content on this website , appreciate it for contribution.

    Comment by vitamin C — October 1, 2016 @ 10:49 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress