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September 30, 2010

Struggling LGBT teens: It! Gets! Better!

Filed under: blogs,issues — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:09 am

In Internet years this is ancient already, but I wanted to make sure that the ten of you who haven’t seen this yet did. Truly moving, and possibly live-saving, it’s Dan Savage‘s You-Tube-based It Gets Better project. Savage wrote:

Billy Lucas was just 15 when he hanged himself in a barn on his grandmother’s property. He reportedly endured intense bullying at the hands of his classmates — classmates who called him a fag and told him to kill himself….I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.

But gay adults aren’t allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don’t bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay — or from ever coming out — by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.

Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don’t have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.

And so we are. Watch (and upload your own?):

H/t Marjorie Ingall (w/whom BG shares mixed feelings about Dan Savage. But not in this case.)


  1. That’s a useful message for straight teens as well.

    As a depressed teenager, I lost count of the number of times well-meaning adults told me, “Cheer up! These are the best days of your life!” Which always led me to think: .o0(If it goes *downhill* from here, I ought to kill myself now.)

    Fortunately, I never completely believed them. If I had killed myself, I would have missed out on all the *best* days (and years) of my life.

    If your teenage years are great, they might be the best years of your life. If they completely suck, they likely are the worst years of your life. The best is yet to come.

    Comment by Karl R — September 30, 2010 @ 11:30 am

  2. @Karl, OK, first of all, now we all know what NEVER to say to miserable teens. Also, I love your comment (as always). Might be a great one to add on the YouTube channel as well. Not to issue-jack, but it’s a wise broader point. That yes, LBGT teens are subject to PILES of ugly harassment, but in some cases some fraction of the supreme SUCK might just be due to having a hard time as a teen in general. In that way, yours is a message of solidarity.

    Comment by Breakup Girl — September 30, 2010 @ 2:24 pm

  3. […] Breakup Girl ยป Struggling LGBT teens: It! Gets! Better! […]

    Pingback by Tim Cook Rumored to Leave Apple for HP CEO Spot | CookingElite.info — September 30, 2010 @ 3:28 pm

  4. Hello! I was looking for something to read then I found yours, nice blog!
    I check out the whole stuff and its really interesting. Hope to check out more from you . Keep it up!

    Comment by kristine — October 14, 2010 @ 11:01 pm

  5. Good point. I hadn’t thoghut about it quite that way. :)

    Comment by Candy — May 4, 2011 @ 12:03 am

  6. I don’t think it should matter what anyone’s feelings are toward LGBT people, because whatever it is, it’s not worth bullying. Bullying makes me absolutely sick. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. Wow, I don’t know how I happened upon your site, I was looking for the best charcoal grill I could find and here I am! Crazy, but good luck in your endeavors!

    Comment by Lori Camp — August 19, 2011 @ 12:32 pm

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