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“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

June 23, 2011

Beauty marked

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:57 am

looksQuoting Shakespeare on June 22, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

You are the most level-headed and genuinely thoughtful advice heroine in all cyberspace. And so, I submit my problem to Your Superness…

I am an attractive person; I want to make it clear that my comfort level with my admittedly-rather-average-but-unique-and-therefore-desirable appearance is satisfyingly high. I also sighed right along Will Shakespeare when he wrote “My mistress eyes are nothing like the sun…”, because sometimes a lover’s so-called imperfections are her most perfect attractions.

My problem is a small one: one small mole, present since birth, on the left cheek. Now, I will normally be the first to champion the fact that beauty is in the details, that it’s the tiny unique things about each person that makes him/her desirable. And it’s not as if this is a particularly ugly feature–it’s basically just a big 3-D freckle. No ugly discolorations, no honking huge black hairs growing out of it.

Still, there’s a certain double standard at work in the world–on Cindy Crawford, it’s a “beauty mark”; on me, it’s just a mole. I know there might be that one in a million girl out there who finds it the sexiest thing she’s ever seen, but how many more are there who might be turned off or away by this? Should I really look for a needle in the haystack when I could just roll in the hay?

I could relatively simply, safely, and inexpensively have it removed and greet the world with a new, unblemished face. Believe me, I have plenty of other unique traits to take up the slack. But I’m not sure what I should do…what do you think?

–Nothing Like The Sun


Dear Sun,

Save the mole! It just doesn’t sound like a big enough distraction — to you or to others — to warrant removal. If what you say is true — your high comfort level with your appearance, your argument for the attraction of “imperfections,” the apparent lack of “wires” (“if hairs be wires…”) — then, frankly, I’m not even sure why you’re asking me about it. The only woman I can imagine who might be turned off by this is — on a purely “one is enough” basis — is, well, Cindy Crawford.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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