Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

July 12, 2011

A Very Long Engagement

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:07 am

idoordoiStill waiting on June 29, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been with my fiance for over eight years. We have been living together for about five years in a jointly purchased house. The problem seems to be that we have been engaged for over five years now, and we still don’t have a wedding date. We have discussed this on numerous occasions throughout the years, but we still remain engaged without a “date” to wed. He says that he has been ready to marry me since he asked. He says that I am the one dragging my feet. I have told him recently that I am ready now, but this topic always seems to stay the same…dateless. I know that he loves me, and there is no doubt in my mind about spending the rest of my life with him. I am beginning to wonder if I should give him an ultimatum at this point, or should I just move on???

— Constant Confusion


Dear Constant,

Five years? FIVE YEARS? Yep, it does sound to me like he wants to have his cake an eat it too — as long as it’s not that Scary Forever Cake with a plastic bride and a groom on top. And under similar circumstances, I might say yeah, it’s time for the U-word.

But I am worried that your ultimatum might sound something like this: “I am ready to give you an ultimatum now.” <silence>

See, I understand that you feel like he’s the slowpoke (and he you), but I also noticed that in your letter you talk about a “date” as if it’s this separate third-party thing that just shows up, like getting your couch delivered. It takes two, Constant. To set a date, and to not set a date. You are both not doing it. What you have now is a power struggle, like two wrestlers shuffling in circles waiting for the other to make a move, like two people on either side of a TV split-screen with their arms folded, not budging except to scowl sideways at their unseen rival. Or, to put it another way, one of you’s saying, “I’m not gonna set it, you set it,” and the other says, “I’m not gonna set it, you set it,” and then you push back from the table and wait for Mikey to call the caterers.

Instead, have a REAL conversation about this. Like, with a calendar. And a pen. If you can’t even get him — OR YOURSELF — to that point after a couple of tries, start talking about who gets the house.

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. I wonder how this turned out. I just have a very negative opinion of long engagements. Rarely do they ever seem to turn out well.

    Comment by Dani — July 22, 2012 @ 6:39 pm

  2. Hi there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us beneficial information to work
    on. You have done a marvellous job!

    Comment by Berry — October 18, 2016 @ 10:42 am

  3. Hi there I am so happy I found your site, I really found you by error, while
    I was searching on Digg for something else, Regardless I am
    here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post and
    a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t
    have time to go through it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also included your RSS feeds, so
    when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the superb work.

    Comment by Travis — April 22, 2017 @ 9:28 pm

  4. wh0cd98268 viagra price

    Comment by Caseynen — April 25, 2017 @ 5:52 am

  5. I have been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts in this kind of house .
    Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this
    website. Studying this info So i am satisfied to exhibit that I have a very just right uncanny feeling
    I found out exactly what I needed. I so much no doubt will make certain to don?t disregard this site and give it a glance on a continuing basis.

    Comment by home security — April 26, 2017 @ 4:34 am

  6. Just want to say your article is as surprising. The clearness for your put up is
    just spectacular and i can suppose you’re a professional on this subject.

    Fine together with your permission allow me to clutch your RSS feed to stay up to date with approaching post.
    Thanks a million and please carry on the enjoyable work.

    Comment by Refugio — April 28, 2017 @ 9:40 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress