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“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

March 6, 2013

A capital offense

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:27 am

Trippin’ on December 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have had a crush on this particular girl for a while now. She and I seem very compatible with our similar personalities. Secondly, she’s downright beautiful. Both of those put her way out of my league or at least I thought… Our school had a eduactional trip to our state’s capital for some kind of business conference. She wanted to sit with me on the bus ride there. I didn’t think much of it, I just thought she was being nice. But, late into the trip, the heater on the bus broke and I offered to share my coat with her, using it as a blanket. She agreed, and for another 10 miles or so, she was cuddled against me for a while, and then with no provocation from me, she slides her hand down my leg and rests it above my knee. I’m thinking, “What the heck?” So I slowly put my hand atop hers and she doesn’t move away. We stayed pretty much like that through the first day, being affectionate all the time, and at one point she was running her foot up and down my leg. So I knew she had to like me, and just wasn’t playing around.

Day two, I find out a horrible thing… she has a boyfriend back home. I was nervous all day, and she must have been reminded by one of her friends that saw us flirting that she still had a man back home, because she started distancing herself from me from then on. By the day we were to come home, she was acting like nothing ever happened. Two days later, (today) I finally have enough nerve built up to ask her what the whole deal was. And the only answer I get is “I don’t know, it sucks doesn’t it?”

How can anybody be so cruel? I told her, tears in my eyes, that I didn’t care if she had 10 boyfriends, because I really liked her, and if there was ever a time when she didn’t have a boyfriend, I would be there. She just fell silent, and then said, “We can be friends.” Sweet Lord, Breakup Girl, is love dead? I’m just so torn-up now I don’t know what to do.

— Genji

Oh, Genji,

No, sweetie, love is not dead. It’s just that that was not love in the first place. That was Bus Lust.

If the following at all polishes the mean, vindictive corner of your hurt, I promise you that Miss Blanket Excuse probably doesn’t feel much better about herself than you do. I know she’s cavalier on the outside, but I betcha she feels like a Bad Girlfriend and also a Mean Person for putting tears in your eyes. And it’s probably not the first time she’s felt that way.

So Genji, if there is ever a time when she doesn’t have a boyfriend — which may, in fact, be soon — I want you to hang out and wait for the next bus. Okay?

Breakup Girl


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