“Vengeance can be appealing when a relationship ends badly. But should you indulge?” writes FOBG Anna Jane Grossman, author of It’s Not You, It’s Me. “Revenge fantasies are normal, says Jeffrey Kaye, a San Francisco psychologist who specializes in couples counseling. ‘There is a certain element of wanting to set things right according to some universal truth — an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”
Yes! But! Keyword: fantasies. Kaye goes on: “When revenge is acted out on the other person and not just fantasized about, it can be quite destructive and self-defeating.’” That includes cutting up his suits and ties, which the article says is actually illegal.
Yeah. Sorry. The best form of revenge, in my book, is to immediately be successful in all areas of your life. Failing that, well, read BG’s full treatise on revenge — or lack thereof — which does offer some alternatives you might call “more taste, more fulfilling.” There are more revenge-related letters here, too. There’s also this instructive adventure, in which BG teams up with The Classy Avenger to right some wrongs, right. Oh, and don’t miss Mr. Wronged (scroll down for title), in which getting even gets animated!
What about you? Any instances you were glad you did NOT cave to the impulse to Oreo his car? Any evil plans you drew up but did not execute? Or, any tales of SUPREMELY ELEGANT revenge, like my friend who left all the beloved art on her pretentious ex’s walls just a teeny, seasickly bit crooked? Or my friend who did absolutely nothing, leaving his ex to wonder, smarting, why she wasn’t worth avenging in the first place?