Still stressed on June 1, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have a serious problem, BG. Have you ever heard of a person’s entire head of hair going gray due to a particularly crappy breakup? There was fully an inch of it coming out of my head before I took the matter (the bottle) into my own hands. I am young! I swear it! Could it be possible that a good, solid rebound might somehow reverse this procedure? Please say it’s so…

— The Silver Queen

P.S. I tried the “relapse” first, and although it seemed to help somehow, it didn’t really work on my hair.

Dear Silver Queen,

I prescribe Grecian Formula. As in: 1 round trip ticket to Crete + 1 great little dress = 1 man out of hair.

Love,
Breakup Girl