Check out this awesome gallery of the nerdiest wedding cake toppers we adore via io9.com!

Who knew collegehumor.com was doing such quality videos? While it doesn’t have the originality of Doctor Horrible, this retelling of the Tony-Maria love story still impresses with its production values and its spot-on parody lyrics. A sample: (to the tune of “Maria” naturally) “Pandora/ Type it in and there’s music playing/ Watch the ads and and it’s almost like paying.”

From collegehumor.com, via BuzzFeed.

Going balmy on February 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated this guy over the summer and fell in love with him. He was real nice, sweet, and caring and I didn’t think I would lose him, but I did. Ever since then I’ve felt empty and just use guys as some kind of toy to play with. I know I’ve hurt a couple of people and I feel bad about it, but I can’t help it. I still love that guy but I don’t know if he still likes me, should I keep chasing him or should I stop. And how do I quit treating guys like a toy to play with?

— Samantha

Dear Samantha,

If there were such a thing as Breakup Girl Laboratories, they would be hard at work on the Boyfriend Patch. Available in fashion colors and Hello, Kitty designs, the Patch would, in the absence of an actual or particular pined-after boyfriend, provide the fix-of-the-quickie that we so often crave.

In the meantime, though, I will tell you that toy-boys are much like Carmex lip balm and the alleged conspiracy behind it. The idea being that your lips are chapped, you apply Carmex, they feel better momentarily… but… “Mulder, are you suggesting that Carmex itself actually makes your lips feel chapped again.?

You see where Breakup Girl is going with this. You feel empty, you mess around, you feel better momentarily … but … the fling itself actually makes you feel emptier. It serves not as a statsfying replacement for your summer Mulder, but as an acute reminder that you don’t have him.

(more…)

Nice eulogy here.

…Certainly she embodied, in her rather brief career, many fairly significant shifts in how women were viewed, on television and in the culture, something I can’t imagine any of us expected as we gazed through the dim choking haze of adolescence at that mane of golden hair and perfect smile and wondered why the gods were so arbitrary with their gifts.

If nothing else, Farrah Fawcett proved something that should make life a little easier for the rest of us: You don’t have to have a huge body of work to make a pretty big imprint. Though a great smile certainly helps.

Sorry, nope.

Craving a post-breakup chalupa — and feeling crafty — but not ready to leave the crib? Fire up your DeskJet for the perfect print-n-fold combo plate!

From I09: “…If this means that we’re in for fast-paced, witty banter between two leads obviously meant for each other…then I am entirely on board for [SyFy’s Warehouse 13.]”

(For us New Yorkers, though, anything with a warehouse that big? Storage porn.)

Subtle.

OK, so maybe it’s not exactly revenge to read that muscular men have more sexual partners and tend to lose their virginity at an earlier age than untoned dudes. But payback time’s a comin’: turns out skinny guys actually live longer. Ain’t no party like a retirement-home party!

According to a recent evolutionary psychology study from the University of Pittsburgh, “The beefier the man… the more sexual partners he had. [But] compared to skinnies…muscular men also tended to producer fewer infection-fighting white blood cells and less of an important immune molecule.”  Point, emo dudes.