I must be unusual then, because i don’t see why you can’t be friends with your Ex. I am friends with all the guys I have dated seriously, Yes even the ones that cheated on me. Yes it hurt when it happened and when the relationship ended but we talk and I want only the best for them. I want someone who wants me and I want them to find their “IT” person, I have even had some ask me to help them find someone. To me I cant tell some one I love them but only if they do what I want. I fell in love with them for the person they are and they are still that person even if it didn’t work for us. I am not hanging on hoping they will change their mind.
Hi Tonya. We’re not saying exes can’t be friends — it’s lovely when they can (sooner, later, or much later). We’re just saying it’s also totally okay, and no one should feel bad, if they can’t. No one, including me.
It’s also much different depending on each circumstance.
Sometimes people don’t deserve to have you in their life, not as a romantic partner, not as a friend. Despite their desire to keep you around, and their pleas to remain friends, circumstances in the relationship make it too difficult for the hurting person to push back all their feelings of hurt so you CAN remain friends.
Sure, I have exes that are friends. Very good friends in fact. But it’s not easy to have that with everyone, despite how much you ever liked or loved that person. Betrayal, cheating, big lies, using someone… none of that validates “staying friends” in my book.
Comment by Terminally Single — July 22, 2008 @ 8:41 am
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