Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

November 24, 2008

Bad Signs!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:54 am

Classic Breakup Girl essay from January 19, 1998!

Learning from our mistakes is an essential survival skill. Yet we are much better students in some situations (“Ow! Orange stove burner hot! … Do not touch again!”) than we are in others (“Ow! Man on motorcycle unreliable! … Date again!”). That said, the circumstances in the excerpts from the letters below –specifically, what Breakup Girl has put in blue should all be considered Bad Signs…

I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. Everything seemed to be really good between us…then he went away for a week to his hometown. He got back on Sunday and I still haven’t heard from him. I remember him telling me on the phone that he was bad at relationships, and when he starts going out with somebody he’ll avoid them and not call them, etc. Which is why we aren’t labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend…because all the label does is add pressure. I really want to be with him. Tell me what you think.

BG: Yo. When someone tells you they are “bad at relationships,” believe them. By saying so, they are writing themselves a permission slip to do exactly that. And yeah, the boyfriend/girlfriend label does add “pressure.” As well it should. As in “responsibility.” If two people willingly agree not to “label” their relationship, fine. But if you do want that label, then quit digging through the Irregular bin. Girlfriend’s gotta hold out for Armani.

This guy I am crazy about and I don’t even talk anymore. We went on one date which didn’t go very well, and after that, it kind of fizzled, all because I couldn’t dance. How can reopen the communication between us?

BG: Don’t bother. Find some other Fred who’ll treat you like the Ginger you are.

Just J:
I met a girl about three months ago at a singles function. She is really nice and we get along well. We’ve gone to a few functions together, but she always seems to bring a friend along or suggests bringing a friend along…What do you suggest?

BG: I hate to tell you, but your instincts are correct: “Would you mind if my friend came along?” is Dating Esperanto for “I like you, but I don’t LIKE like you.” But you do say elsewhere in your letter that some of her other signals have been somewhat mixed … so stick with the friend thing. If she changes her mind, she’ll give you some other universal sign.

No one really likes this guy except for my mother and me.

BG: Enough said.

I love my girlfriend more than anyone I have ever loved, but she wants a bit of space because, well, I am too loving…I want to see her at least every other day, and she wants to see me every Saturday because she values her own quality time…Some of the little things I do, as she has told me, get on her nerves (like wearing plaid all the time — something that is no big deal that I can give up — just a matter of getting other shirts)…

BG: I took the liberty of forwarding your query to the Plaid Rights Coalition (just happened to see their public service announcement on The Flannel Channel). Their response: “No way should this guy give up his personal style for someone — and no way should that person even hint that he should in the first place.” Listen, kid, it’s not the plaid: it’s the Plaid Principle. Find someone who’s truly worth your stripes.

What should I do, as my boyfriend bought me a towel and a book for Christmas?

BG: Take a hint; read in the tub. Alone.

This guy I’m interested in keeps comparing me to a girlfriend he once went out with for three years and claimed he really loved. Is this a good sign?

BG: Hmmm. Maybe, maybe not. First of all, I assume he’s comparing you favorably (i.e. not saying things like, “You’re sweet, but you’re no Jackie!”). Okay. So if it is a good sign, it means: he has a type, and you, like his ex, are it. He is flirting with you — clumsily enough for you to write to Breakup Girl to ask what the hell he means, but flirting nonetheless. Flirt back, and he’s yours. If it’s a bad sign, here’s what it means. He has a type, and you, like his ex, are it. But who he really wants is her. The danger: if you date him, your life will turn into the movie “Vertigo” (or “Single White Female”). If it’s the worst sign of all, it means: Not interested in you; so not over her that he still can’t even find anything else to talk about. Suggestion: try doing things that are expressly not like Jackie (“Always wore her hair down, did she? Pass me that scrunchie!”) and see what happens.


  1. Je voulais savoir si vous aviez l’intention d’organiser un colloque universitaire sur l’enseignement des mathématique et vous me répondez qu’il n’en est rien, voilà tout.

    Comment by cheap car insurance — September 24, 2016 @ 7:50 pm

  2. Ich kann nur Herbert rechtgeben. Three Wishes ist eines der besten Songs von ATD. Jeff Beck Solo grandios sowie auch bei What God Wants (part 3). Für mich ist Amused to death mit Wish you were here, Animals und Meddle mein Lieblingswerk. Gruß Markus

    Comment by http://nacmm.info/what-do-i-need-to-change-car-insurance.html — September 24, 2016 @ 8:44 pm

  3. bartoron December 5, 2011 07:57You mean the Astros? Ed Wade was the biggest idiot in all of… sports. He was also the ex-Phillies GM, so he clearly wanted to screw over the Astros to help his former team. 0  0

    Comment by average car insurance rates in Mansfield TX — September 24, 2016 @ 11:17 pm

  4. Bella quella delle aste al ribasso. Avevo il sentore fin dall'inizio che ci fosse qualcosa di sbagliato, ora finalmente ho capito!! E mi hai fatto risparmiare 2 euro 😀

    Comment by cheap auto insurance Oxnard CA — September 25, 2016 @ 2:08 am

  5. Do you have a presence on facebook? I can’t seem to find Meyer Lemon Limoncello » Champagne and Cornflakes on there and I would like to connect with you there. I like your writing style, thanks Jennifer Cote

    Comment by car insurance with no license in Quincy MA — September 25, 2016 @ 3:36 am

  6. I haven't had time to read blogs in so long, but I always come to yours first. I love this top! Totally going to copy you xx hope you're well!

    Comment by low income car insurance Fort Wayne IN — September 25, 2016 @ 4:44 am

  7. Je me demandais si quelqu’un allait faire la remarque. La meilleure solution en effet c’est de mettre un code PIN à plus de 4 chiffres (même avec 00000 ou 12345).Ceci dit, le déverrouillage d’un iPhone n’autorise que 4 chiffres.

    Comment by car insurance with no license in Hyattsville MD — September 25, 2016 @ 4:51 am

  8. You put the lime in the coconut and drink the article up.

    Comment by free car insurance quotes — September 25, 2016 @ 5:39 am

  9. Hi Juan,If you didn’t get a deportation order but instead, your parents (including you) got a voluntary departure, you should be ok.But if you and your parents got an expedite deportation order, your case most likely will be denied. Ask your parents about that. If they got to sign a piece of paper and got sent back, most likely you got a voluntary departure.

    Comment by cheap car insurance quotes Citrus Heights CA — September 25, 2016 @ 7:46 am

  10. Minua häiritsee erityisesti se, miten kulttuuripalvelujen tuista puhumisesta on sellainen herrasmiessopimus, ettei niistä vaan saa puhua.Heti on populismia, jos arvostelee sitä, että tuetaan sadoilla euroilla yhtä oopperakatsontakertaa. Ja hölmöä on se, että turkua rangaistaan siitä, että se käyttää valtionapuja järkevämmin kuin valtio tahtoisi niitä käytettävän. Turku tahtoo kustantaa terveydenhuoltoa, mutta valtio suostuu antamaan rahaa vain teatteritukeen.

    Comment by cheap auto insurance Berkeley CA — September 25, 2016 @ 8:03 am


    Comment by affordable car insurance Elmhurst NY — September 25, 2016 @ 8:42 am

  12. Hey cool!Par contre, l’histoire du Flash…vous devez quand même changer votre discours maintenant : Google a annoncé le référencement total du flash. De plus, un site mal foutu est mal foutu qu’il soit en Flash, html, ou autres. C’est le mec qui le fait qui est pas assez compétant. Pas la technologie ;)Sinon cool tes vidéos 😉

    Comment by free car insurance quotes Lansing MI — September 25, 2016 @ 2:41 pm

  13. Love shallots in any dish. And roasted coconut gravy adds another dimension to the curry. In my city we do not get peeled shallots and that is the only thing that keeps me from buying them every time I go to the store.

    Comment by auto insurance Fayetteville NC — September 25, 2016 @ 3:33 pm

  14. I’m not easily impressed. . . but that’s impressing me! :)

    Comment by look auto insurance Schaumburg IL — September 25, 2016 @ 4:09 pm

  15. Simples assim…Quanto é a desmobilização + remobilização? Faz desconto de 5% e toca…Na hora de fazer o orçamento, os empreiteiros computam tal diferença e pronto…A cotinha está garantida. E ainda sobra algum prá doação. DEUS nos livre

    Comment by no down payment auto insurance in Denton TX — September 25, 2016 @ 4:11 pm

  16. Hahha excellentissime !!J’adore les nouveaux sports, et avec le conseil en plus !Y’a rien, regarder plutôt un film …« Concours complet d’épilation » LOL les 3 étapes : saut d’obstacle, dressage et cross, les brésiliennes seront-elles détrônées ?Merci et félicitations Mr Vidberg

    Comment by low income auto insurance dmv Woodbridge NJ — September 25, 2016 @ 4:17 pm

  17. Your thinking matches mine – great minds think alike!

    Comment by cheap full coverage auto insurance West Orange NJ — September 25, 2016 @ 5:18 pm

  18. Enable right clicking on the video links, so they can be opened in new tabs or windows. If you're going to force this design on everyone, you might as well make it freaking usable.

    Comment by car insurance rates WV — September 25, 2016 @ 6:55 pm

  19. I love butternut squash (my mom and mother-in-law cook with it a lot) and lo mein – I never thought of putting them together but I will now after seeing your dish! I have the same bamboo place mats – you’ll see them making a few appearances on my blog too

    Comment by best auto insurance in Huntsville TX — September 25, 2016 @ 10:21 pm

  20. Hey, killer job on that one you guys!

    Comment by cheap auto insurance quotes Grafton OH — September 25, 2016 @ 11:09 pm

  21. Yes if the universe expands forever creating space for events to occur then eventually a whole universe exactly like what we observe now will pop into existence. If you believe current theories that conclude that stuff just pops into existence given enough time in space. Usually it is just particles that constantly comes in and out of existence but it allows for any combination of particles by chance eventually. Don’t be surprised at any given event because as far as we now it is all possible.

    Comment by no down payment car insurance in Marion IL — September 25, 2016 @ 11:11 pm

  22. Call me wind because I am absolutely blown away.

    Comment by best car insurance in IN — September 26, 2016 @ 1:42 am

  23. Home run! Great slugging with that answer!

    Comment by cheap full coverage auto insurance Poway CA — September 26, 2016 @ 2:18 am

  24. Thank you for visiting and liking our page. We appreciate it. You will shortly receive an email regarding getting emails. Thank you and do not forget to share with friends and family

    Comment by list of auto insurances in Youngstown OH — September 26, 2016 @ 5:37 am

  25. They get a gift to wear, a gift to read, a gift they need, and gift they want (at a certain price). She said her kids don't really complain because they get some choice in it, but it keeps things on a budget.I thought that was a pretty neat idea and probably makes shopping a little easier! Your gifts are wonderful, I love the kitchen idea! Your kids are going to have a very special Christmas!

    Comment by auto insurance quotes Florissant MO — September 26, 2016 @ 7:05 am

  26. Just what the doctor ordered, thankity you!

    Comment by insurance auto quote — September 26, 2016 @ 9:27 am

  27. I’m honestly don’t care what people do with their bodies…but, even though a man happens to change into a female he is still physically a man with all of a man’s strength. So, if for whatever reason, he goes bonkers in the women’s restroom a natural born woman cannot defend herself physically against someone who has the strength of a man.P.S. your an eliteist and a snob. People have to take whatever jobs are available to feed their family…so don’t knock working at Dennys or any other place you believe is too lowly for you to work at

    Comment by auto insurance quotes Belton TX — September 26, 2016 @ 10:22 am

  28. I think you hit a bullseye there fellas!

    Comment by auto acceptance insurance Palm Coast FL — September 26, 2016 @ 10:51 am

  29. I am writing to make you know of the impressive experience our princess undergone reading through yuor web blog. She noticed lots of issues, which included what it’s like to possess an excellent helping mood to let other people without hassle know precisely specific specialized topics. You undoubtedly surpassed our desires. Many thanks for presenting these effective, trusted, edifying and as well as unique guidance on that topic to Jane.

    Comment by free car insurance quotes West Des Moines IA — September 26, 2016 @ 11:08 am

  30. De paashaas en die eieren komen van een Germaans vruchtbaarheidsfeest (het is bij de konijnen af). Net zo iets als de kerstboom (heilige eik) en de timing van kerstmis. Er werden vroeger heel wat concessies gedaan om maar meer mensen bij de club te krijgen. 😉

    Comment by car insurance Lake Orion MI — September 26, 2016 @ 2:35 pm

  31. Felt so hopeless looking for answers to my questions…until now.

    Comment by non owners auto insurance quotes Hattiesburg MS — September 26, 2016 @ 4:16 pm

  32. in response to Sternhall’s addressing the content of the J14 demonstrations , advocating for intra-Israeli social changethat’s funny, i didn’t read anything about sternhall addressing “intra-israeli social change”

    Comment by list of auto insurances in Morehead KY — September 26, 2016 @ 5:39 pm

  33. that I would vote in or condone Opposition for the sake of it. I specifically said that currently they can't offer as many equivalent stellar candidates as PAP, but when they DO, I hope people will listen.And personally I don't think LTK, Sylvia Lim or Chen Show Mao are any less worthy than other PAP candidates. So clearly they are not just there for the sake of it. Singaporeans are not that stupid. In fact even if the Opposition is highly worthy (in some cases which they are), many are still inclined to stick to the "safe".

    Comment by low income car insurance dmv Claremore OK — September 26, 2016 @ 5:48 pm

  34. Am dat like la pagina salonului si share pe pagina mea de facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livia.lixandru.Pentru mine cea mai frumoasa femeie este Liv Tyler :DLivia Lixandru

    Comment by no down payment car insurance in Cabot AR — September 26, 2016 @ 6:58 pm

  35. I have considered getting rid of my phone multiple times due to the temptation and lack of accountability. Thank you very much for working on a project that will help many men avoid unnecessary temptation.

    Comment by cheap sr22 insurance Morganton NC — September 26, 2016 @ 8:08 pm

  36. Der var de fine sokkene mine :) Tusen takk enda en gang Marie *klem* Flotte de lange sokkene da – gjorde ikke noe at du bare fortsatte. Kos deg i kveld. Klem

    Comment by full coverage auto insurance Vicksburg MS — September 26, 2016 @ 8:40 pm

  37. Your thinking matches mine – great minds think alike!

    Comment by cheap non owners insurance in Hollister CA — September 26, 2016 @ 8:41 pm

  38. There was a poll circulated around UC last summer that basicly asked “the streetcar will be a failure because” and gave 3 different choices. Peoples opinions hardly fit these cookie cutter polls.Oh and I’m closing in fast on old age, neither me nor any of my friends have had telephones for years.

    Comment by low income car insurance dmv Keller TX — September 26, 2016 @ 9:56 pm

  39. This could not possibly have been more helpful!

    Comment by cheap sr22 insurance Mount Pleasant SC — September 27, 2016 @ 1:01 am

  40. Do some research into the sexual harassment allegations against the CEO, charges of slavery, illegal hiring practices, hostile work environment, etc etc. Amappy is not a model for American business.

    Comment by non owners car insurance quotes Keene NH — September 27, 2016 @ 1:03 am

  41. DanMy view is we will hear throughout the drilling campaign, first news i presume at TD 21/22 days with good weather.To back my view up i point towards Daily Mail article 25 sept 2010 “Hang on to xcite energy”clearly stating in second part of article “Once the drill bit is in the ground, the company plans to provide updates on its progress during initial two month campaign”ps on encore news front i feel we will have an article by Danny Foster in the Sunday Times unless you bet him to it again !regardsoilbug

    Comment by cheap auto insurance quotes Shawnee OK — September 27, 2016 @ 3:05 am

  42. Hi there. I simply want to give you a note to verbalize my thankfulness. I’ve been watching your site for few days along with have picked up a ton of good quality tips as well as enjoyed the way you’ve structured your website. I’m undertaking to churn out my own web page however I believe its extremely general plus I need to target more on certain subjects.VA:F [1.9.17_1161]please wait…

    Comment by car insurance rates — September 27, 2016 @ 5:21 am

  43. mutterings and meanderingsJuly 27, 2007 Goodness me, if global warming (or should I say climate change as it’s wet not warm) is responsible for such gigantic flies, I think we should all become eco-warriors!

    Comment by auto insurance Reno NV — September 27, 2016 @ 5:45 am

  44. Anita, no one wants to die. It is true. When the Pope John Paul II was sick in the hospital in Rome, he expressed his desire to be kept alive even chemically when he remains in comma. So he was kept alive until he stopped breathing himself. A religious head of such a large group whom the public worshiped as next to God, did not want to die. What to say about common persons? I, therefore , approve your idea that no one likes do die on his/her own.

    Comment by cheap auto insurance quotes Old Bridge NJ — September 27, 2016 @ 6:41 am

  45. Your posting lays bare the truth

    Comment by auto insurance — September 27, 2016 @ 6:42 am

  46. Cool! That’s a clever way of looking at it!

    Comment by us agency car insurance Marion IL — September 27, 2016 @ 6:50 am

  47. What a fabulous dish! I am also always amazed by how blue the sea looks around Greece. I know that the Harbour looks blue as well, but in SE Qld, the water is brown.

    Comment by average car insurance rates in North Myrtle Beach SC — September 27, 2016 @ 7:36 am

  48. Wow! Talk about a posting knocking my socks off!

    Comment by car insurance — September 27, 2016 @ 7:42 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress