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November 24, 2008

Bad Signs!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:54 am

Classic Breakup Girl essay from January 19, 1998!

Learning from our mistakes is an essential survival skill. Yet we are much better students in some situations (“Ow! Orange stove burner hot! … Do not touch again!”) than we are in others (“Ow! Man on motorcycle unreliable! … Date again!”). That said, the circumstances in the excerpts from the letters below –specifically, what Breakup Girl has put in blue should all be considered Bad Signs…

I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. Everything seemed to be really good between us…then he went away for a week to his hometown. He got back on Sunday and I still haven’t heard from him. I remember him telling me on the phone that he was bad at relationships, and when he starts going out with somebody he’ll avoid them and not call them, etc. Which is why we aren’t labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend…because all the label does is add pressure. I really want to be with him. Tell me what you think.

BG: Yo. When someone tells you they are “bad at relationships,” believe them. By saying so, they are writing themselves a permission slip to do exactly that. And yeah, the boyfriend/girlfriend label does add “pressure.” As well it should. As in “responsibility.” If two people willingly agree not to “label” their relationship, fine. But if you do want that label, then quit digging through the Irregular bin. Girlfriend’s gotta hold out for Armani.

This guy I am crazy about and I don’t even talk anymore. We went on one date which didn’t go very well, and after that, it kind of fizzled, all because I couldn’t dance. How can reopen the communication between us?

BG: Don’t bother. Find some other Fred who’ll treat you like the Ginger you are.

Just J:
I met a girl about three months ago at a singles function. She is really nice and we get along well. We’ve gone to a few functions together, but she always seems to bring a friend along or suggests bringing a friend along…What do you suggest?

BG: I hate to tell you, but your instincts are correct: “Would you mind if my friend came along?” is Dating Esperanto for “I like you, but I don’t LIKE like you.” But you do say elsewhere in your letter that some of her other signals have been somewhat mixed … so stick with the friend thing. If she changes her mind, she’ll give you some other universal sign.

No one really likes this guy except for my mother and me.

BG: Enough said.

I love my girlfriend more than anyone I have ever loved, but she wants a bit of space because, well, I am too loving…I want to see her at least every other day, and she wants to see me every Saturday because she values her own quality time…Some of the little things I do, as she has told me, get on her nerves (like wearing plaid all the time — something that is no big deal that I can give up — just a matter of getting other shirts)…

BG: I took the liberty of forwarding your query to the Plaid Rights Coalition (just happened to see their public service announcement on The Flannel Channel). Their response: “No way should this guy give up his personal style for someone — and no way should that person even hint that he should in the first place.” Listen, kid, it’s not the plaid: it’s the Plaid Principle. Find someone who’s truly worth your stripes.

What should I do, as my boyfriend bought me a towel and a book for Christmas?

BG: Take a hint; read in the tub. Alone.

This guy I’m interested in keeps comparing me to a girlfriend he once went out with for three years and claimed he really loved. Is this a good sign?

BG: Hmmm. Maybe, maybe not. First of all, I assume he’s comparing you favorably (i.e. not saying things like, “You’re sweet, but you’re no Jackie!”). Okay. So if it is a good sign, it means: he has a type, and you, like his ex, are it. He is flirting with you — clumsily enough for you to write to Breakup Girl to ask what the hell he means, but flirting nonetheless. Flirt back, and he’s yours. If it’s a bad sign, here’s what it means. He has a type, and you, like his ex, are it. But who he really wants is her. The danger: if you date him, your life will turn into the movie “Vertigo” (or “Single White Female”). If it’s the worst sign of all, it means: Not interested in you; so not over her that he still can’t even find anything else to talk about. Suggestion: try doing things that are expressly not like Jackie (“Always wore her hair down, did she? Pass me that scrunchie!”) and see what happens.


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  5. Thought it wouldn’t to give it a shot. I was right.

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 15, 2016 @ 6:12 pm

  6. That is such a cool shot! I love trees (and sunsets) too. I can certainly understand you wanting to frame it and hang it on the wall. I would have done the same thing.

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  8. Ah dimenticavo..posso utilizzare delle scatole murarie per far fare all’elettricista un lavoro perfetto oppure rischio di alterare le caratteristiche del cavo e quindi del segnale trasmesso?

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  10. Thanks bob, you made a great point last night, too, by the way.You really had me stumped about what’s to come with ‘new’ forged vital records and that seal! What’s it going to be? I vote for a non-certified copy to be released with the excuse that the public has no right to a certified copy…I can’t wait to see what they pull outta their butts!

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  11. I was there to watch a good friend race and saw you as you were crossing the Key bridge… I recognized you from blog photos, loved your skirt! Congrats on a great race!!

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  12. todos los que quieran aprender algo el día de hoy. Y dice el profesor que “Todo está listo: Los esclavos se presenta, con fiesta incluida, este viernes 3 a las 19:00 horas en el lobby del Hotel Virreyes

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  13. Hey, subtle must be your middle name. Great post!

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 16, 2016 @ 12:34 am

  14. I'm in love with your creations! This shirt is amazing, I've been using it since it has been released! I'd like to know how's the fixing of the hair going? I can't wait to put it on my sims! 😀

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 16, 2016 @ 1:41 am

  15. It is true that, at least here in California, the farm owners are the most powerful lobby in favor of increasing the flow of illegals in to our State.But Svigor blames the Scotts Irish. He is wrong. Very few of the farms are owned by Scotts IrishImmigration policy is set at the federal level. What evidence do you have that "farm owners" in California are most responsible for the flow of illegals to California?

    Comment by http://www.lasmangist.com/ — July 16, 2016 @ 4:54 am

  16. Kudos! What a neat way of thinking about it.

    Comment by http://heliplanex.com/auto-insurancw.html — July 16, 2016 @ 7:07 am

  17. Печально, что такая школа есть. Хотелось верить, что хоть в кадетские классы исправят ситуацию. А вышло как обычно… Что и говорить, если зайти на их официальную страницу, то сразу вылезает порнушная реклама.(((

    Comment by http://www.oweninsuragency.com/ — July 16, 2016 @ 7:14 am

  18. There's a place I try to goSo far from hereI close my eyes but I can'tCan't disappear…(St.Mike)Simples locataires de passage; bouger pour museler l'anxiété de de croire au contraire. Bouger. Guérir.

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  19. God morgon!Er frøken Lilla pÃ¥ hytto kanskje??Ute med “trockso”?Neste gong bror din kjem heim pÃ¥ ferie, sÃ¥s skal eg jammen meg ønska meg noko???Eg vil og ha:)Klemmmmmmmmmmm

    Comment by http://tna1.info/car-insurance-in-mckinney-texas.html — July 16, 2016 @ 8:27 am

  20. Sry fürs Klugscheißen:Deine Sniper-Rokh ist genau dafür ausgelegt: Snipern. Dass du Close-Range nichts triffst, ist völlig normal… stell dir mal einen Amerikanischen Soldat im Irak mit einer Sniper vor, der auf 1m versucht jemanden zu treffen… eher erschlägt er ihn mit seiner Waffe ^^ Mach dir also keinen Kopf, dass du nichts getroffen hast…

    Comment by auto insurance — July 16, 2016 @ 10:06 am

  21. Hey, you’re the goto expert. Thanks for hanging out here.

    Comment by http://www.tna1.info/ — July 16, 2016 @ 11:20 am

  22. If my problem was a Death Star, this article is a photon torpedo.

    Comment by http://www.lasmangist.com/ — July 16, 2016 @ 5:11 pm

  23. Toate pozele sunt super, iar pentru munca ce o depui cu atata suflet merita mii de multumiri din partea tuturor… Eu iti doresc sa ai parte numai de bucurii si realizari in viatza pe plan profesional si plan familial. Ne cunoastem, nu prea bine, cu mult timp in urma……dar asta nu ma impiedica sa iti spun ca sunt mandru de tine! Bafta ! Doamne ajuta!

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 16, 2016 @ 5:11 pm

  24. Just what the doctor ordered, thankity you!

    Comment by http://oweninsuragency.com/hms-car-insurance.html — July 16, 2016 @ 8:40 pm

  25. Huhu bin nun auch da Danke für die Erinnerung.Stress, Einkaufen, Geschenke und dazu noch Gedanken machen wegen Essen und wer wann kommt.Der schlimmste Monat eigentlich im ganzen Jahr und doch auch der schönste.

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  26. Too many compliments too little space, thanks!

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  27. Stonehenge is closed at night. Since so many people of ancient times used the moon and stars to guide them, and also used these heavenly bodies as part of religious practice, shouldn’t someone check to see the significance of the positioning of the stones at night?

    Comment by http://heliplanex.com/car-insurance-amarillo.html — July 17, 2016 @ 3:15 am

  28. Lucario: Tack! Och ja, det ligger ju en och annan timme bakom den här bloggen, det är kul att se att det faktiskt att hänt något med all tid man investerat. :)Tobias: Bli kvinna, det är ett vinnande koncept!

    Comment by http://www.tna1.info/ — July 17, 2016 @ 4:58 am

  29. Free knowledge like this doesn’t just help, it promote democracy. Thank you.

    Comment by http://www.lasmangist.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 7:21 am

  30. Thankyou Mike! I think I have heard something similar to the 1/3 idea you talk about … And it makes sense. Deep down I know this wasn’t anything to stress about, but it was certainly still interesting food for thought. I appreciate your comment and feedback

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  32. This looks great. I’ve kept meaning to get around to making my own preserves, etc – even to the point of getting a kit! This is kind of the kick that I need to get started…

    Comment by http://tna1.info/toronto-car-insurance-online-quote.html — July 17, 2016 @ 9:03 am

  33. South of France, so glamorous and beautiful! Enjoy your trip, Safran!I love your list (and the fact that you are taking lots of decants!). I’m currently testing Rivages des Syrtes and it really seems to be a great anytime-anywhere-always elegant scent.

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 10:04 am

  34. Wild and crazy hör jag! det låter som det kunde varit jag!! Kul finns det inga bilder från ditt framträdande med etype!!Söt liten sessa du har!Kram helena

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 11:04 am

  35. Ikut menyimak tulisan di atasTermenung…..Memahami setiap kataBTWSelamat Idul Fithri 1430 HMohon maaf lahir dan batinBlogSigit; Terimakasih, sama-sama Selamat Idul Fitri 1430H. Mohon maaf lahir dan batin

    Comment by http://tna1.info/florida-high-risk-car-insurance-pool.html — July 17, 2016 @ 11:37 am

  36. Het is zo waar dat het welhaast crimineel mag worden genoemd dat de meeste gewichtsconsulentes nog steeds de verkeerde behandeling starten. Nog steeds een taboe op vet, maar eet wel zo veel mogelijk brood en drink light frisdranken. Ik weet nu uit ervaring wel beter en ben zo blij dat ik de cirkel van trillen en weer snoepen heb doorbroken. De 25 kilo er af was nog het minste voordeel. De energie in lijf en hoofd maken mijn leven zoveel prettiger!

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 11:59 am

  37. If you’re reading this, you’re all set, pardner!

    Comment by http://www.tna1.info/ — July 17, 2016 @ 12:05 pm

  38. Walking in the presence of giants here. Cool thinking all around!

    Comment by http://atravelmedicalinsurance.com/car-insurance-chill.html — July 17, 2016 @ 3:25 pm

  39. At moment I’m really fancying Eric the Vampire from True Blood. It’s the nordic accent and the poise, and the way he teeters between justice and naughtiness with just the right amount of bad boy charm. When I was younger (and more foolish), I had a thing for Alexander Hamilton – he of founding father fame. After that came Captain Jean Luc Picard. I just loved the way he recited Shakespeare. My overall fangirl crush however is on dead literary writers. Namely J Luis Borges and Roberto Bolano. Swoon.

    Comment by http://affordablewarranty.com/aami-motor-insurance.html — July 17, 2016 @ 4:07 pm

  40. Gute Nacht wer noch da ist! Danke Denise für den tollen Abend bei dir (auch wenn ich mehr mit der blöden Netzverbindung zu kämpfen hatte – Flucht und SEgen der Technik bis zum nächsten Mal

    Comment by http://atravelmedicalinsurance.com/massachusetts-auto-insurance-sdip.html — July 17, 2016 @ 7:51 pm

  41. GREAT TUTORIAL!! Next issue: Opinion really After importing into XSI (whether it’s the original from the original Daz FBX or the Daz_10k) do you recommend building all the controls for the imported rig or …. trashing the imported rig (keeping the mesh only) then using xsi’s biped rig guide which already comes with controls. Appreciate your thoughts

    Comment by http://oconnor2015.com/a-h-m-travel-insurance-quote.html — July 17, 2016 @ 8:44 pm

  42. do those plyometric squats, do lunges, and explosive training for better speed (which is needed in soccer). Such as the 6 second workout, sprint the length of the field and time how long it takes you to get to the other side, then walk back…do this 6-8 times anywhere from 2-4 times a week.

    Comment by http://oconnor2015.com/ace-insurane.html — July 17, 2016 @ 10:59 pm

  43. Clotpoll says:April 1, 2009 at 10:16 pmchi (3)- (after about five minutes, the bimbos default to repreatedly asking him for stock picks).clot: You know that IS the CNBC-speak for the audience is French Connection UK-ing naive and/or retarded.

    Comment by http://atravelmedicalinsurance.com/vehicle-insurance-dui.html — July 17, 2016 @ 11:52 pm

  44. Also obwohl meine Geschichte-Abi-Prüfung sich exakt um die wohl schlimmste deutsche Ära drehte, fiel mir als Assoziation zunächst einmal der Spruch ein… 😉

    Comment by http://riodelrey.com/sri-lanka-insurance-online-payment.html — July 17, 2016 @ 11:54 pm

  45. Ta BS! I’m not as happy with this one as the previous two, but I felt I had to bring it to a close somehow. For my next trick, I shall try something a bit warmer methinks.

    Comment by http://affordablewarranty.com/what-is-the-average-car-insurance-bill-per-month.html — July 18, 2016 @ 12:12 am

  46. werd auf jednefall BETA spielen (wenn ich invite bekomm) und es mir auch so anschauen.. mein Gott es kostet nix und ich find es an sich ne nette Idee.. wenn es Spaß macht ist das doch schonma was

    Comment by http://atravelmedicalinsurance.com/insurance-companies-boston.html — July 18, 2016 @ 12:58 am

  47. There are no words to describe how bodacious this is.

    Comment by http://oconnor2015.com/horace-mann-insurance-agency.html — July 18, 2016 @ 1:04 am

  48. Comment by http://passstylemusic.com/auto-insurance-palmdale.html — July 18, 2016 @ 1:19 am

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