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December 5, 2008

Broken Heart Bob

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:10 am

Classic LetterToday we present the original “loft-builder” letter from January 19, 1998, which inspired Paul The Intern’s origin as well as this classic animation!

Dear Breakup Girl,

The thing I fear most in life is “I just want to be friends.” Or “I don’t want to ruin our friendship with a relationship now.”

I have been trying to get to know these women in college. I did all the things a “nice guy” does. I helped move big stuff into their dorm rooms, set up computers and bed lofts, what have you. That’s how I am: When I like a woman, I try to help her out. Well…then I get to be her best friend. I’ve tried not to be a “nice guy,” but I just can’t. It’s instilled deep within me. So what can I do to not be the best-friend/older brother/father/confidant and be someone’s boyfriend?

— Broken Heart Bob

Dear B.H. Bob,

Of course you can’t not be a nice guy. You are a nice guy, whether you like it or not. And trust me, women do like it — I mean, even LIKE like it.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: when women say “he’s NICE, but…” they are not speaking some weird cryptic secret Woman Language. In most cases, it’s just a lame generic catch-all phrase for that no-chemistry feeling that’s otherwise impossible to describe. (Come on, surely you know some girl whom you think is perfectly, yes, NICE, but who just doesn’t happen to do that voodoo to you. That’s all it is.) That, or there’s some Oprah self-esteem issue going on where they think they “don’t deserve someone so NICE.” In which case, it’s really her problem, not yours.

But listen: the thing for you to do is to be a nice guy, not a Nice Guy. Be nice because you are, not because you’re trying to. It’s your character, not a campaign. If Miss Thing needs help plugging in her PC, then MacGyver will be glad to help her — if he’s free. If Miss Thing’s roommate is feeling weepy, then Uncle Bob’s shoulder is available — usually.

And reconsider your approach — you’ve got a role in setting the tone, you know. The next time a girl piques your interest, ask her out on a date before you fix her loft.

Breakup Girl


  1. And here again is that letter…Where again is that letter (that's just a link back to the article in The Mark)? I'm trying to find the exact part where Bate mentions not having yet divided his/Philip Morris's opponents.That seems to be the dominant theme of Bate's PR work. And yes, Mr. Bate (in case you are reading this) that is morally vacuous and profoundly shameful.

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  2. Hi Jan!Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment, I absolutely agree with you from what you can gather from my post, so I am definitely going over to visit your blog and read the post you mentioned.

    Comment by http://peoria-cadets.com/car-insurance-group-4.html — June 27, 2016 @ 1:09 am

  3. doc hi po,itong wisdom tooth ko yung dulong bagang po ba yun?walang butas pero masakit mangilo pag bumabanga sa ipin sa lower part.anu kaya ito doc may butas o bulok na yung loob?plan ko bumalik sa dentist bukas,worry ako doc kasi ang hirap na walang ipin pag kumakainn ng matigas need na naman palagyan ng pustiso.

    Comment by http://learncolour.com/car-insurance-for-europe-over-90-days.html — June 27, 2016 @ 2:09 am

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