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April 1

“Skinny” 2: The Thickening

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 3:30 pm

When it came to discussion of last week’s Ask Lynn/MSN letter, “Call me when you’re skinny,” you guys had an appetite for deconstruction. 108 comments so far — thanks, all! — and opinions all over the map.

Not all of them, however, sat well with FOBG Kate Harding. Some highlights from her comment in response:

  1. “The ignorance about fat people’s lifestyles and abilities on this thread is really pretty astounding. So many people automatically assume this woman is a lazy glutton with limited mobility…We’re going on very little information here, but that doesn’t seem to bother some people, because they hear the word ‘overweight’ and suddenly, they know EVERYTHING.”
  2. “Dude has every right not to date a fat woman if that’s not what floats his boat — just as we all have a right to our own attractions and dealbreakers…So those of you who don’t want to date fat people can rest easy — no one will ever force you to — but you might want to reconsider your assumptions about how hard it is for fat people to find love in the absence of your approval.”
  3. “Fat is not a romantic death sentence. It only means you don’t get to date people who don’t want to date fat people. Which works out just fine for everyone.”

But the divine Ms. Harding was only getting started.

Our post, we’re happy to note, helped inspire this inspired rant over at her blog. Here’s one gem among many:

Attraction is weird and unpredictable and dependent on about 8 zillion variables. If it were actually based on a list of identifiable characteristics, we could all just walk around comparing lists with each other until each of us found a perfect match. And I don’t know, maybe that’s how some people actually do it — the people who have strict rules about only dating thin, white blondes or tall, rich guys with full heads of hair. The people who think about potential romantic partners in terms of how others will see them, not in terms of what they see. But the rest of us just have to stumble around and wait for the zing!

The waiting can suck, if you prefer being in a relationship. It can suck a lot. But the zing! does not depend on thinness or whiteness or blondeness or tallness or richness or haired-ness. It depends on the time, place, and person, on a host of things you can’t control, and on another host of things you can’t even consciously recognize. That is the reality, people.”

Yum. Go read the rest.


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