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March 30, 2009

Currently at MSN.com: He lied about his virginity

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:40 am

MSN datingAsk Lynn, Breakup Girl’s alter ego’s advice column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com), is now being updated monthly rather than weekly, so now you’ll get two new letters each month…

1. Warhammer Widow feels like she comes in second to her beau’s gaming — but then, so does paying his car insurance. Eeep!

2. Confused and Hurt, who is not a virgin herself, has a boyfriend who said he was. That is, until he finally admitted that she wasn’t his first. This is both confusing (why lie?) and hurtful (the lies!).


  1. So i have been going out with this guy that i fell in love with the first time i saw him. We were so happy for a while but now its more like we are friends then we are going out. He never wants to just talk to me, and just be with me. He will never be alone with me either, He always has to be around his friends. So today i got this gut feeling that it just isnt working out anymore. i still really like him and i know that he still llikes me but i have to end it. I just dont know how, and i still want to be friends, but i dont want to say “lets just be friends” because that would break his heart. What do i do?

    Comment by Rebekah — March 3, 2009 @ 1:09 am

  2. Rebekah,

    End it politely. Don’t try to stay friends; he will probably need some space for a while. Broken hearts heal, and he may handle the breakup better than you expect.

    I also recommend avoiding saying, “Lets just be friends.” It’s a cliche.

    Comment by Karl R — March 3, 2009 @ 9:36 am

  3. Confused,
    I’m a bit less charitable toward your boyfriend than Lynn is.

    Even if you had strongly hinted that being a virgin was the “right” answer, and being a non-virgin was the “wrong” answer, there was no reason for him to tell you the same lie repeatedly. He could have answered your question once, and then avoided the topic. Since he lied to you repeatedly, it’s obvious that lying to you doesn’t bother him that much.

    There are a lot of women, however, that train their men to lie to them. A classic example would be: “Do these jeans make my butt look fat?” If you have to ask the question, the honest answer probably won’t make you happy. Do you want your boyfriend to lie, or do you want him to make you unhappy? If the answer is “Neither,” then you shouldn’t be asking the question.

    Comment by Karl R — March 16, 2009 @ 11:59 am

  4. There’s a basic dynamic I didn’t see mentioned: virgin = condom may be optional, non-virgin = condom probably required. So, he might have been lying simply to lull her into a false sense of security, completely ignoring the risk to her health for some unprotected sex.

    Comment by SC — March 30, 2009 @ 11:58 am

  5. Hi,
    Thanks for sharing your ideas and views with us. I would like to know more on this.

    I still think Warhammer is way better then WoW but the numbers do not seem to show it. I wonder if it is because Warhammer does not seem to be advertised as much as Warcraft.

    Warhammer Gold

    Comment by Clarck — April 9, 2009 @ 3:07 am

  6. […] not the first time we’ve covered this letter. You see, about 12 months ago, MSN and I did it. Check out the comments here. Tags: lies, sex health, trust, virginity […]

    Pingback by Breakup Girl » This week at Happen: He lied about his virginity? — March 29, 2010 @ 9:14 am

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