e-mail to a friend in needValentine’s Haiku Contest
In honor of Valentine’s Day, as with our past Haiku Contests and posts, we’re opening up a special page for readers to submit their best relationship-themed haikus in the comments — and now you can RATE THEM too! Fun! Slash-wistful! Plus, this year — joined by celebrity judge writer/columnist/funnyfella Joel Stein! — Team BG will select a 2010 HAIKU MASTER from the five highest rated entries. (Submissions are now closed but rating continues this weekend, and a winner announced in a special post on Monday.)
Centuries before netizens were distilling their thoughts and dreams down to 140 characters, the Japanese were doing it in 17 syllables! You are no doubt familiar with the minimalist 5-7-5 scheme:
Am I over her?
Why, did she ask about me?
Hey wait, come back here!
-- Brian Thomas, Haiku contest Grand Prize co-winner, 1998!
Now that he is gone
I can say this without fear:
I do not like jazz.
– Amy Keyishian, 1998 First Prize winner and BG super-blogger
First look through the rest of winners from 1998, 1999, 2000, 2006, and more. Then read, rate or write your own, below!
Bonus: Also making a comeback this week: our customizable candy heart eCards.
Fine print: submissions become property of BreakupGirl.net.
Women suck. I learned this
Not from my breakups, but from
Those Super Bowl ads.
Comment by Breakup Girl — February 8, 2010 @ 5:27 pm
Eight kids were enough.
And while he was a douchebag,
I still blame my hair.
Comment by Ash — February 8, 2010 @ 8:09 pm
Valentine’s pressure.
What is the best way to wrap
her disappointment?
Comment by Chris — February 9, 2010 @ 11:17 am
Your left or my left?
You put everything I own
In which box, you bitch?
Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 11:23 am
Reservation? No.
We want a regular meal,
Not some prix fixe scam.
Comment by Erika — February 9, 2010 @ 3:07 pm
young love grows old fast:
the puppy you wanted then
has gone to the dogs
Comment by ed — February 9, 2010 @ 4:33 pm
Flowers on V-Day
Or someone I can laugh with?
I’ll take the latter.
Comment by Paula — February 9, 2010 @ 5:24 pm
Inseparable,
I just can’t compete.
With your Blackberry.
Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 5:59 pm
These aren’t tears for you.
I’m just upset that Mom said,
“See. I told you so.”
Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 6:05 pm
We’re so different.
For example, I’m a Mac.
And you’re an asshole.
Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 6:11 pm
Valentine’s reminds:
Get out the calendar, call
O.B.G.Y.N.
Comment by Wendy — February 9, 2010 @ 6:29 pm
Kisses so tender
Love is hanging in the air
My heart loves too much
Comment by Annabelle — February 9, 2010 @ 7:20 pm
No Cadbury’s, please.
How about something I want?
Like closing your mouth?
Comment by Professor Marty — February 9, 2010 @ 9:12 pm
Be my Valentine?
At least until my friends leave?
They’ll think I’m sexy!
Comment by Professor Marty — February 9, 2010 @ 9:40 pm
Why is it so hard
to eat a TV dinner
on Valentine’s Day?
Comment by Professor Marty — February 9, 2010 @ 9:44 pm
I don’t think I’d need
Five hundred days to know that
Summer was a bitch.
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 3:05 am
Never thought I’d love
Someone who has their foreskin
Life still surprises me.
Comment by Josey — February 10, 2010 @ 7:51 am
An Idol romance:
Learned back story; got attached…
He blew the next round.
Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 10:44 am
Empty breakup lines:
“Just didn’t work for me, dawg.
Plus it was ‘pitchy.’”
Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 10:47 am
Experts: To fight fair,
Employ “I” statements. Okay:
“I feel that you suck.”
Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 10:48 am
The horror washed over
Once I knew you had other
Valentines day plans
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:33 pm
Emailed a poem
I wrote you for Valentines
You just replied, “Thanks.”
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:33 pm
Unattainable,
I pine for you every day.
My darling iPad.
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:34 pm
A cruel reminder.
All alone on the fourteenth.
That even Ben has Jerry.
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:35 pm
A bit impatient,
Your Facebook Info still reads
Relationship: Single.
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:36 pm
I know what she wants
Yet I just can’t bring myself
To buy an “iPad.”
Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 12:37 pm
The signs were all there.
Like your YouTube “parody”
of Single Ladies.
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:40 pm
My heart aches for you.
That, or I may be having
Some acid reflux.
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:41 pm
So, we said farewell.
So, I have deleted your
Grey’s Anatomy.
Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:51 pm
No sweet talk from you,
If insults were what I need
I would call my mom.
Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:35 pm
Your iphone was on
My love for you turned to off
There’s an app for that.
Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:36 pm
It’s not me, it’s you
Thanks for saving me the pain
Of dumping you first.
Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:37 pm
love you, forever
But morning breath overtakes
My desire to kiss.
Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:39 pm
My world went to hell
You came along for the ride
So that’s what love means
Comment by Aquagirl — February 10, 2010 @ 3:24 pm
Tweeting “It’s over”
is concise, but also shows
lack of character.
Comment by BG — February 11, 2010 @ 10:35 am
Know me like the night ~
As the Moon shall know each Star ~
As Sun knows the day
Comment by Miridunn — February 11, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
Like a violin ~ I am held,
Curled into you ~
Quiver strokes on flesh
Comment by Miridunn — February 11, 2010 @ 1:13 pm
^^^
My darling Josey,
I should so like you to know.
I too, am uncut.
Comment by Ash — February 11, 2010 @ 2:12 pm
Proved my love all year,
but still there’s that final test -
flunked the Valentine.
Comment by Michael Lipsey — February 11, 2010 @ 5:24 pm
The last Valentine
Crumpled beneath the loveseat:
“Let’s always be friends.”
Comment by 4ndyman — February 11, 2010 @ 5:40 pm
Valentines Day sucks
Worst case you end up alone
Best case you are broke
Comment by Ira — February 11, 2010 @ 9:36 pm
What power held me?
Her eyes.. her smile..her soft skin?
Maybe the tramp stamp
Comment by Ira — February 11, 2010 @ 9:41 pm
Made up holiday.
See no point. Don’t understand.
Sex? OK, I’m in.
Comment by Big Ronnie — February 12, 2010 @ 10:45 am
Honestly, honey
a big romantic gesture?
Folding the laundry.
Comment by Sue — February 12, 2010 @ 11:15 am
Culture in crisis!
They stand to destroy marriage!
Straight people, I mean.
Comment by BG — February 12, 2010 @ 11:18 am
No flowers, my dear
Before you, Valentine’s cut
I will keep this grudge
Comment by Sara — February 12, 2010 @ 12:55 pm
Thanks, my love, for the
gym membership you gave me
I’d rather have cash.
Comment by Emily — February 12, 2010 @ 1:26 pm
Married, with two kids
Happy Valentine’s Day, hon
I’ll change the diapers
Comment by Gina Roccanova — February 12, 2010 @ 2:28 pm
Red roses, how droll
What are you trying to say?
You left on the thorns.
Comment by Ira — February 12, 2010 @ 5:13 pm
This is for you babe.
Do you like the sexy gift?
Rats. Makes you look fat.
Comment by Ira — February 12, 2010 @ 5:43 pm
years fly by us fast
hairline recedes, wrinkles creep,
yet you’re still so cute
Comment by LittleMiss — February 12, 2010 @ 5:43 pm
Pushing fifty now
When did this happen to me?
Practice acceptance
Comment by Lisa — February 12, 2010 @ 6:09 pm
I’m afraid to say
that I love sleeping alone.
I take many naps.
Comment by Stephanie — February 12, 2010 @ 6:09 pm
i know it’s strange but
sometimes i enjoy sleeping
even more than sex
Comment by Quinn — February 12, 2010 @ 6:23 pm
Broke up, you shacked up
with the girl across the hall.
I guess we’re still friends.
Comment by Lynn — February 12, 2010 @ 6:29 pm
My heart breathes you in.
My dreams rest in your brown eyes.
I’ll miss you always.
Comment by Christina — February 12, 2010 @ 6:32 pm
Another fourteenth
I hate this f*cking stupid day
Down with valentines
Comment by Cheeeeeeeese — February 12, 2010 @ 6:34 pm
Honesty, you preached.
Well now the truth will be out:
Your novel? Dreadful.
Comment by Alyssa — February 12, 2010 @ 6:41 pm
Love, a song of joy…
Not so much anymore, no?
Stalkers not welcome.
Comment by Andromeda Aman — February 12, 2010 @ 6:47 pm
Lies avoid conflict,
Gossips it instead to others…
Yet I am to blame?
Comment by Kristy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:19 pm
Of all the boys, you
were the sweetest to me, dear
Glad I took a chance
Comment by Mercury — February 12, 2010 @ 7:21 pm
in this winter chill,
your love warms me more than
snuggie *or* slanket.
Comment by Harimad — February 12, 2010 @ 7:28 pm
You are thirty-five.
Give up the rock and roll dream
And get a real job.
Comment by hheeeeyyyy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:32 pm
Had your dirty socks
Ever gone in the hamper
I might still be yours.
Comment by hheeeeyyyy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:32 pm
“send him a message”?
thanks for the reminder, jerks.
facebook strikes again.
Comment by Harimad — February 12, 2010 @ 7:44 pm
What’s new on Sportscenter?
Like an hour ago, nothing.
Honeymoon phase, over.
Comment by Veronica — February 12, 2010 @ 8:01 pm
A Rainy Evening
Direct TV Hit by Bolt
Toilet Seat is Down
Comment by MissFlorida — February 12, 2010 @ 8:23 pm
It will never work.
I like Radiohead and
you like Dave Matthews.
Comment by Salmeen — February 12, 2010 @ 9:47 pm
Pop the gift champagne!
Soapy smell of sleeping boys
Married Valentine
Comment by Lady Brit — February 12, 2010 @ 10:41 pm
You didn’t want to
Be an equal partner in
Our relationship.
Comment by Mary — February 13, 2010 @ 12:19 am