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Valentine’s Haiku Contest

posted by Breakup Girl @ 2:52 pm

In honor of Valentine’s Day, as with our past Haiku Contests and posts, we’re opening up a special page for readers to submit their best relationship-themed haikus in the comments — and now you can RATE THEM too! Fun! Slash-wistful! Plus, this year — joined by celebrity judge writer/columnist/funnyfella Joel Stein! — Team BG will select a 2010 HAIKU MASTER from the five highest rated entries. (Submissions are now closed but rating continues this weekend, and a winner announced in a special post on Monday.)

Centuries before netizens were distilling their thoughts and dreams down to 140 characters, the Japanese were doing it in 17 syllables! You are no doubt familiar with the minimalist 5-7-5 scheme:

Am I over her?
Why, did she ask about me?
Hey wait, come back here!

– Brian Thomas, Haiku contest Grand Prize co-winner, 1998!

Now that he is gone
I can say this without fear:
I do not like jazz.

— Amy Keyishian, 1998 First Prize winner and BG super-blogger

First look through the rest of winners from  19981999, 2000, 2006, and more. Then read, rate or write your own, below!

Bonus: Also making a comeback this week: our customizable candy heart eCards.

Fine print: submissions become property of BreakupGirl.net.



  1. years fly by us fast
    hairline recedes, wrinkles creep,
    yet you’re still so cute

    Comment by LittleMiss — February 12, 2010 @ 5:43 pm

  2. Pushing fifty now
    When did this happen to me?
    Practice acceptance

    Comment by Lisa — February 12, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

  3. I’m afraid to say
    that I love sleeping alone.
    I take many naps.

    Comment by Stephanie — February 12, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

  4. i know it’s strange but
    sometimes i enjoy sleeping
    even more than sex

    Comment by Quinn — February 12, 2010 @ 6:23 pm

  5. Broke up, you shacked up
    with the girl across the hall.
    I guess we’re still friends.

    Comment by Lynn — February 12, 2010 @ 6:29 pm

  6. My heart breathes you in.
    My dreams rest in your brown eyes.
    I’ll miss you always.

    Comment by Christina — February 12, 2010 @ 6:32 pm

  7. Another fourteenth
    I hate this f*cking stupid day
    Down with valentines

    Comment by Cheeeeeeeese — February 12, 2010 @ 6:34 pm

  8. Honesty, you preached.
    Well now the truth will be out:
    Your novel? Dreadful.

    Comment by Alyssa — February 12, 2010 @ 6:41 pm

  9. Love, a song of joy…
    Not so much anymore, no?
    Stalkers not welcome.

    Comment by Andromeda Aman — February 12, 2010 @ 6:47 pm

  10. Lies avoid conflict,
    Gossips it instead to others…
    Yet I am to blame?

    Comment by Kristy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:19 pm

  11. Of all the boys, you
    were the sweetest to me, dear
    Glad I took a chance

    Comment by Mercury — February 12, 2010 @ 7:21 pm

  12. in this winter chill,
    your love warms me more than
    snuggie *or* slanket.

    Comment by Harimad — February 12, 2010 @ 7:28 pm

  13. You are thirty-five.
    Give up the rock and roll dream
    And get a real job.

    Comment by hheeeeyyyy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:32 pm

  14. Had your dirty socks
    Ever gone in the hamper
    I might still be yours.

    Comment by hheeeeyyyy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:32 pm

  15. “send him a message”?
    thanks for the reminder, jerks.
    facebook strikes again.

    Comment by Harimad — February 12, 2010 @ 7:44 pm

  16. What’s new on Sportscenter?
    Like an hour ago, nothing.
    Honeymoon phase, over.

    Comment by Veronica — February 12, 2010 @ 8:01 pm

  17. A Rainy Evening
    Direct TV Hit by Bolt
    Toilet Seat is Down

    Comment by MissFlorida — February 12, 2010 @ 8:23 pm

  18. It will never work.
    I like Radiohead and
    you like Dave Matthews.

    Comment by Salmeen — February 12, 2010 @ 9:47 pm

  19. Pop the gift champagne!
    Soapy smell of sleeping boys
    Married Valentine

    Comment by Lady Brit — February 12, 2010 @ 10:41 pm

  20. You didn’t want to
    Be an equal partner in
    Our relationship.

    Comment by Mary — February 13, 2010 @ 12:19 am

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