Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 512

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 527

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 534

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 570

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1442

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 431

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/query.php on line 61

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/theme.php on line 1109

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Http in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/http.php on line 61
Breakup Girl » Valentine’s Haiku Contest
Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

Valentine’s Haiku Contest

posted by Breakup Girl @ 2:52 pm

In honor of Valentine’s Day, as with our past Haiku Contests and posts, we’re opening up a special page for readers to submit their best relationship-themed haikus in the comments — and now you can RATE THEM too! Fun! Slash-wistful! Plus, this year — joined by celebrity judge writer/columnist/funnyfella Joel Stein! — Team BG will select a 2010 HAIKU MASTER from the five highest rated entries. (Submissions are now closed but rating continues this weekend, and a winner announced in a special post on Monday.)

Centuries before netizens were distilling their thoughts and dreams down to 140 characters, the Japanese were doing it in 17 syllables! You are no doubt familiar with the minimalist 5-7-5 scheme:

Am I over her?
Why, did she ask about me?
Hey wait, come back here!

-- Brian Thomas, Haiku contest Grand Prize co-winner, 1998!

Now that he is gone
I can say this without fear:
I do not like jazz.

– Amy Keyishian, 1998 First Prize winner and BG super-blogger

First look through the rest of winners from  19981999, 2000, 2006, and more. Then read, rate or write your own, below!

Bonus: Also making a comeback this week: our customizable candy heart eCards.

Fine print: submissions become property of BreakupGirl.net.

Share

70 Comments

  1. Women suck. I learned this
    Not from my breakups, but from
    Those Super Bowl ads.

    Comment by Breakup Girl — February 8, 2010 @ 5:27 pm

  2. Eight kids were enough.
    And while he was a douchebag,
    I still blame my hair.

    Comment by Ash — February 8, 2010 @ 8:09 pm

  3. Valentine’s pressure.
    What is the best way to wrap
    her disappointment?

    Comment by Chris — February 9, 2010 @ 11:17 am

  4. Your left or my left?
    You put everything I own
    In which box, you bitch?

    Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 11:23 am

  5. Reservation? No.
    We want a regular meal,
    Not some prix fixe scam.

    Comment by Erika — February 9, 2010 @ 3:07 pm

  6. young love grows old fast:
    the puppy you wanted then
    has gone to the dogs

    Comment by ed — February 9, 2010 @ 4:33 pm

  7. Flowers on V-Day
    Or someone I can laugh with?
    I’ll take the latter.

    Comment by Paula — February 9, 2010 @ 5:24 pm

  8. Inseparable,
    I just can’t compete.
    With your Blackberry.

    Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 5:59 pm

  9. These aren’t tears for you.
    I’m just upset that Mom said,
    “See. I told you so.”

    Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 6:05 pm

  10. We’re so different.
    For example, I’m a Mac.
    And you’re an asshole.

    Comment by Ash — February 9, 2010 @ 6:11 pm

  11. Valentine’s reminds:
    Get out the calendar, call
    O.B.G.Y.N.

    Comment by Wendy — February 9, 2010 @ 6:29 pm

  12. Kisses so tender
    Love is hanging in the air
    My heart loves too much

    Comment by Annabelle — February 9, 2010 @ 7:20 pm

  13. No Cadbury’s, please.
    How about something I want?
    Like closing your mouth?

    Comment by Professor Marty — February 9, 2010 @ 9:12 pm

  14. Be my Valentine?
    At least until my friends leave?
    They’ll think I’m sexy!

    Comment by Professor Marty — February 9, 2010 @ 9:40 pm

  15. Why is it so hard
    to eat a TV dinner
    on Valentine’s Day?

    Comment by Professor Marty — February 9, 2010 @ 9:44 pm

  16. I don’t think I’d need
    Five hundred days to know that
    Summer was a bitch.

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 3:05 am

  17. Never thought I’d love
    Someone who has their foreskin
    Life still surprises me.

    Comment by Josey — February 10, 2010 @ 7:51 am

  18. An Idol romance:
    Learned back story; got attached…
    He blew the next round.

    Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 10:44 am

  19. Empty breakup lines:
    “Just didn’t work for me, dawg.
    Plus it was ‘pitchy.’”

    Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 10:47 am

  20. Experts: To fight fair,
    Employ “I” statements. Okay:
    “I feel that you suck.”

    Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 10:48 am

  21. The horror washed over
    Once I knew you had other
    Valentines day plans

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:33 pm

  22. Emailed a poem
    I wrote you for Valentines
    You just replied, “Thanks.”

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:33 pm

  23. Unattainable,
    I pine for you every day.
    My darling iPad.

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:34 pm

  24. A cruel reminder.
    All alone on the fourteenth.
    That even Ben has Jerry.

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

  25. A bit impatient,
    Your Facebook Info still reads
    Relationship: Single.

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:36 pm

  26. I know what she wants
    Yet I just can’t bring myself
    To buy an “iPad.”

    Comment by BG — February 10, 2010 @ 12:37 pm

  27. The signs were all there.
    Like your YouTube “parody”
    of Single Ladies.

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:40 pm

  28. My heart aches for you.
    That, or I may be having
    Some acid reflux.

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:41 pm

  29. So, we said farewell.
    So, I have deleted your
    Grey’s Anatomy.

    Comment by Ash — February 10, 2010 @ 12:51 pm

  30. No sweet talk from you,
    If insults were what I need
    I would call my mom.

    Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:35 pm

  31. Your iphone was on
    My love for you turned to off
    There’s an app for that.

    Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:36 pm

  32. It’s not me, it’s you
    Thanks for saving me the pain
    Of dumping you first.

    Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:37 pm

  33. love you, forever
    But morning breath overtakes
    My desire to kiss.

    Comment by Jeanne Villa — February 10, 2010 @ 1:39 pm

  34. My world went to hell
    You came along for the ride
    So that’s what love means

    Comment by Aquagirl — February 10, 2010 @ 3:24 pm

  35. Tweeting “It’s over”
    is concise, but also shows
    lack of character.

    Comment by BG — February 11, 2010 @ 10:35 am

  36. Know me like the night ~

    As the Moon shall know each Star ~

    As Sun knows the day

    Comment by Miridunn — February 11, 2010 @ 1:12 pm

  37. Like a violin ~ I am held,

    Curled into you ~

    Quiver strokes on flesh

    Comment by Miridunn — February 11, 2010 @ 1:13 pm

  38. ^^^
    My darling Josey,
    I should so like you to know.
    I too, am uncut.

    Comment by Ash — February 11, 2010 @ 2:12 pm

  39. Proved my love all year,
    but still there’s that final test -
    flunked the Valentine.

    Comment by Michael Lipsey — February 11, 2010 @ 5:24 pm

  40. The last Valentine
    Crumpled beneath the loveseat:
    “Let’s always be friends.”

    Comment by 4ndyman — February 11, 2010 @ 5:40 pm

  41. Valentines Day sucks
    Worst case you end up alone
    Best case you are broke

    Comment by Ira — February 11, 2010 @ 9:36 pm

  42. What power held me?
    Her eyes.. her smile..her soft skin?
    Maybe the tramp stamp

    Comment by Ira — February 11, 2010 @ 9:41 pm

  43. Made up holiday.
    See no point. Don’t understand.
    Sex? OK, I’m in.

    Comment by Big Ronnie — February 12, 2010 @ 10:45 am

  44. Honestly, honey
    a big romantic gesture?
    Folding the laundry.

    Comment by Sue — February 12, 2010 @ 11:15 am

  45. Culture in crisis!
    They stand to destroy marriage!
    Straight people, I mean.

    Comment by BG — February 12, 2010 @ 11:18 am

  46. No flowers, my dear
    Before you, Valentine’s cut
    I will keep this grudge

    Comment by Sara — February 12, 2010 @ 12:55 pm

  47. Thanks, my love, for the
    gym membership you gave me
    I’d rather have cash.

    Comment by Emily — February 12, 2010 @ 1:26 pm

  48. Married, with two kids
    Happy Valentine’s Day, hon
    I’ll change the diapers

    Comment by Gina Roccanova — February 12, 2010 @ 2:28 pm

  49. Red roses, how droll
    What are you trying to say?
    You left on the thorns.

    Comment by Ira — February 12, 2010 @ 5:13 pm

  50. This is for you babe.
    Do you like the sexy gift?
    Rats. Makes you look fat.

    Comment by Ira — February 12, 2010 @ 5:43 pm

  51. years fly by us fast
    hairline recedes, wrinkles creep,
    yet you’re still so cute

    Comment by LittleMiss — February 12, 2010 @ 5:43 pm

  52. Pushing fifty now
    When did this happen to me?
    Practice acceptance

    Comment by Lisa — February 12, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

  53. I’m afraid to say
    that I love sleeping alone.
    I take many naps.

    Comment by Stephanie — February 12, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

  54. i know it’s strange but
    sometimes i enjoy sleeping
    even more than sex

    Comment by Quinn — February 12, 2010 @ 6:23 pm

  55. Broke up, you shacked up
    with the girl across the hall.
    I guess we’re still friends.

    Comment by Lynn — February 12, 2010 @ 6:29 pm

  56. My heart breathes you in.
    My dreams rest in your brown eyes.
    I’ll miss you always.

    Comment by Christina — February 12, 2010 @ 6:32 pm

  57. Another fourteenth
    I hate this f*cking stupid day
    Down with valentines

    Comment by Cheeeeeeeese — February 12, 2010 @ 6:34 pm

  58. Honesty, you preached.
    Well now the truth will be out:
    Your novel? Dreadful.

    Comment by Alyssa — February 12, 2010 @ 6:41 pm

  59. Love, a song of joy…
    Not so much anymore, no?
    Stalkers not welcome.

    Comment by Andromeda Aman — February 12, 2010 @ 6:47 pm

  60. Lies avoid conflict,
    Gossips it instead to others…
    Yet I am to blame?

    Comment by Kristy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:19 pm

  61. Of all the boys, you
    were the sweetest to me, dear
    Glad I took a chance

    Comment by Mercury — February 12, 2010 @ 7:21 pm

  62. in this winter chill,
    your love warms me more than
    snuggie *or* slanket.

    Comment by Harimad — February 12, 2010 @ 7:28 pm

  63. You are thirty-five.
    Give up the rock and roll dream
    And get a real job.

    Comment by hheeeeyyyy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:32 pm

  64. Had your dirty socks
    Ever gone in the hamper
    I might still be yours.

    Comment by hheeeeyyyy — February 12, 2010 @ 7:32 pm

  65. “send him a message”?
    thanks for the reminder, jerks.
    facebook strikes again.

    Comment by Harimad — February 12, 2010 @ 7:44 pm

  66. What’s new on Sportscenter?
    Like an hour ago, nothing.
    Honeymoon phase, over.

    Comment by Veronica — February 12, 2010 @ 8:01 pm

  67. A Rainy Evening
    Direct TV Hit by Bolt
    Toilet Seat is Down

    Comment by MissFlorida — February 12, 2010 @ 8:23 pm

  68. It will never work.
    I like Radiohead and
    you like Dave Matthews.

    Comment by Salmeen — February 12, 2010 @ 9:47 pm

  69. Pop the gift champagne!
    Soapy smell of sleeping boys
    Married Valentine

    Comment by Lady Brit — February 12, 2010 @ 10:41 pm

  70. You didn’t want to
    Be an equal partner in
    Our relationship.

    Comment by Mary — February 13, 2010 @ 12:19 am

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2010 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE ...
Custom Candy Heart eCards Heart eCards

Animated eCards Valentine eCards

BG on V-Day
V-Day Comic I
V-Day Comic II

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress