Mr. and Mrs. Kris Allen are cute and all, but this is way more exciting.

There is perhaps no love purer than a fangirl’s for her Twilight.

The esteemed Onion News Network reports that the nation’s girlfriends have put foward an economic plan that could save the country over $200 billion — let’s move in together!

Nation’s Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: ‘Let’s Move In Together’

Greetings, classmates. Can you believe that ten years have passed since we last walked the hallowed halls of our beloved high school? True, we blew up those same halls on Graduation Day and bonded together to battle a giant snake, but who among us doesn’t look back in fondness at those glory days of Sunnydale High?

– Michelle Blake-West, Sunnydale Class of 1999 co-Homecoming Queen

Tonight (and next week) in New York!

Each attendee will be assigned their own Sunnydale student identity kit at the door. Then we’ll party like it’s 1999 with with an evening of dancing to music videos from the end of the century, challenging Buffy trivia contests, our always popular Buffy-oke competition, and other Buffy related party games. Over the course of the evening, our alumni will be going head-to-head in all these activities, with one student selected at the end of the night to win our custom “Class Protector” award (and a ton of Buffy schwag).

Of course, now that snake will totally have two kids, a dumb job, and a paunch.

Ooh, early drafts of Star Wars! A long time ago, no one realized they’d ever wind up on a blog!

Check the original proto-love scene between Leia and proto-Luke (Annikin Starkiller!). Think he had her at “Now straighten up and get into a lifepod”?

Here’s me. (Or at least that — speaking of parents — is what I look like when I go home and instantly regress.) What about you?

Did you learn most of what you know about relationships from your parents? And is that good or bad?

If the latter, at least we’ve always had fantasy families to lean on: the Huxtables, the Wilders, the late great Joyce Summers. So please enjoy, at Babble.com, this list of — and homage to — the 25 Best Fictional Parents.

Nope, not Kris vs. Adam — though there’s that. After 65 years, the most famous, and ageless, love triangle may finally be resolved. “The wholesome, red-headed teenager Archie Andrews will be popping the question to one of his childhood sweethearts,” reports wowowow.com (via the Archie Comics official blog), “but who will it be, Betty Cooper or Veronica Lodge?”

Well? Who do you think it should be? And what will the answer mean for “good”/”bad” girls everywhere?

SPOILER ALERT: Do not read if you are not totally caught up with Dollhouse, or you will have to have a treatment. (Not counting the elusive — but coming! — episode 13.)

Perhaps my all-time favorite EVER feature on BG.net, almost TEN years ago, long before the advent of the KutcherTweet, was: Glam-Quest 2000. Teams in NY and LA fanned out to report celebrity sightings, which in turn were judged and tallied — as fickly as fame itself — by our own Gregoire.

And now this, from our own Amy in SF (former NY captain), which merits at least a Conversation Multiplier x Humor Bonus x BG Imaginary Boyfriend Gambit. In other words, Amy WINS.

i was at a restaurant and I saw him come in — but I couldn’t quite believe it because I NEVER see celebs in this burg — i asked the hostess “is that alan tudyk?” and she said “that is the name on his reservation, but who is he? why is everyone asking me that?” and so I marched up to his table with my wee daughter and said “i don’t usually do this” and he said, “you’re giving me your BABY?”

he was with a willowy blonde — and I started babbling about the last 2 episodes of Dollhouse, how I knew he was funny and great but his *physical* work was so precise and amazing, I said he must have studied mime or clowning or dance b/c it was really really good [well, he did go to Pirate Camp! — BG], and I wasn’t even a major Whedon-fan but I was so impressed yadda yadda, and he was just all “thank you! thank you so much!” very charmingly and talking to Penelope who was giving him big blue-eyed smiles, and he said the character of Alpha was just really fun to play, and I said we were all pulling for a 2nd season and good luck, and then I wet my pants.

We assume Amy will have another kid to replace that one.

Really? They need to try this hard to market chocolate to women?

(Somewhere, Miss Fling is snickering.)