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May 7

Not getting his drift

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:23 am

Apart of nothing from October 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am 16 years old and recently my boyfriend moved quite far away. We were very much in love. When it came to the idea of breaking up, my boyfriend told me we weren’t really breaking up, we are “breaking apart.” Whatever that means. I’m really not sure. It will be a very long time before he comes back to visit and I don’t know if I should date ever. I still love him a lot and I know that he is the only guy I want to be with, but is it foolish to wait at such a young age. I know I should probably be discussing this with him but I’m not sure he understands either. Every thing is so confusing. I’d really like to know if I’m wasting my time and if I should even still call him my boyfriend. I hope “breaking apart” isn’t just a nicer term for breakup but I don’t understand the so-called difference. Do you think you could clear this up for me? I would really like to know where I stand.

— Isabella

Dear Isabella,

Never mind the difference between up and apart— I think the real keyword is away. As in “quite far.” I’m not saying you shouldn’t try and stay “together,” but it will be hard — especially if you don’t talk to each other honestly about what your intentions and expectations are. This situation is totally confusing! Your brain knows it’s foolish to wait, but your heart’s like, “….Waaaaaaaiiit!” So yeah, give yourselves a real talk — how does each of you feel about “seeing other people?” etc. — and give yourselves some time to get used to being apart, whatever your status. Even if the new key word turns out to be over, you’ll be down, but — I promise — you’ll get through. (How can I be so sure? Remember: he’s away, not in all of your classes. Waaaay easier to move on.)

Breakup Girl


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