Ask Lynn, Breakup Girl’s alter ego’s advice column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com), is now being updated monthly rather than weekly, so now you’ll get two new letters each month…

1. Jennifer is on her third go-round with Mr. Looks-like-Tim-McGraw. They dated, then broke-up, then were friends-with-benefits, broke that off, now they’re dating again — but better than ever before. Can this be real?

2. Sick of seeing both sides is frustrated by a boyfriend who wants time alone with his buddies a lot, or when they’re all together simply ignores her. Otherwise, he’s attentive and sweet — so what gives?

The Cougar premieres tonight on TV Land.

Rowr!

Not!

“The enthusiasm for the ‘Wild Kingdom’ analogy is a sign of how strange and hysterically funny the idea of energetic female sexual desire is — whether it’s in the form of 34-year-old Drew Barrymore, who has cheerily referred to herself as a “pre-cougar” or “puma” because she’s dated men a couple of years younger than her, or 50-year-old Madonna, who recently dated 20-year-old Jesus Luz,” writes Rebecca Traister at Salon.com. “How sad and backward that we have to give it a nickname, animalize it as if it’s outside the boundaries of civilized human behavior, make it a trend, pretend that Demi Moore invented it. That’s not progress, and it’s not a step forward for women.”

For some, music is the food of love. For BG, food is the food of love. Which is why she knows she’ll dig FOBG Giulia Melucci’s I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti.

From today’s NY Times: “Her romantic adventures are interspersed with recipes like “Morning After Pumpkin Bread” and “Ineffectual Eggplant Parmigiana” (“Serves the two of you plus the three people you wish were there to keep the conversation going”).

Anybody else game to test this out on their next blind (so to speak!) date? From a study covered in the London Telegraph:

“The longer a man’s gaze rests on a woman when they meet for the first time, the more interested he is. If it lasts just four seconds, he may not be all that impressed. But if it breaks the 8.2 second barrier, he could already be in love they say.”

Women were found to stare for equal lengths of time whether they were attracted to the guy or not. Why? Because, the article explains (“explains”), “… women are more wary of attracting unwanted attention because of the risks of unwanted pregnancy and single parenthood.”

[Charlie Brown confused headshake] Wuzzuh?

And I thought it was just me who mind-jumped ahead too fast on the first date.

MyVeryWorstDate.com presents cringe-tastic stories of cookies tossed, drink minimums exceeded, and balloon bouquets burst, in a refreshingly mixed-gender (and occasionally mea culpa) format. It’s a nice reminder, too, that bad dates are better than bland dates. I mean, at least you get a story.

Here’s Meghan on dating while McCain:

One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be “his Cindy.” And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother. No, I’m not kidding. Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits and large pearls obviously only finds my last name attractive about me.

Read more on her blog at The Daily Beast — and more from BG on being bipartisan-curious!

Via Boing Boing: A new dating site for the terminally ill called Till Death Do Us Part. Though there’s a bit of gallows humor, it does not appear to be a hoax; also does not appear to have tons of members (yet?).

As marketing director Joseph DiAngelo said in a press release, “This site is designed to cut through the superficiality and embrace issues we think are most meaningful — the desire and need for understanding, compassion, empathy and comfort between human beings facing their greatest challenge.”

My immediate response: “Wow, what a wonderful idea, compassionate and… pragmatic. No one should feel like they can’t meet a mate. No one should feel like they have to be alone.” It reminded me of my dear, terminally ill friend who said her first thoughts when she heard the doctor’s bad news were: “Who will want me now? Who can love me? Will I have to die alone?”

So I think this service is a good thing. I mean … right?

Then again …

What about all the nasty ways scammers can get to these vulnerable people who brave putting themselves out there?

What about death groupies and fakers? (Two words: Fight Club.)

What about gold diggers who aspire to be merry widow(ers)?

What about the terminally ill being ghettoized into “their own website”? It’s not necessarily as if “no one else will have them.”

The truth is, my terminally ill friend is far braver than I. She’d probably say hey, nothing good comes without risk (and: hey, people like me already know all about scammers and weirdos). Perhaps at very least — regardless of what one thinks of this site — it might remind the hale and hearty among us to joke a little less flippantly about “dying alone.”

What happened to hope sex?

A new poll by The Daily Beast seems to indicate that Americans don’t actually believe “All You Need Is Love.” With everyone suffering in the new economy, they’re not going out on dates, or taking the next big economy-pumping steps like getting married, taking vacations, moving in together, having babies (in whatever order).

In fact, people who took the poll reported more fighting with their mate, having less sex, and being more careful with their birth control. Couples even report staying together to avoid the expense of a breakup, because of the cost of moving and paying separate rents, child support or alimony. (Women almost always suffer a huge drop in the quality of living post-split.)

Eesh. So bleak.

People are hunkering down. As they should. But I’m still an optimist. I hope (there’s that word again) that thrift is the new normal and that people won’t feel ashamed or awkward if they have no cash to flash.

Make special dinners at home? Play those old games you had to have and then forgot about (eh hem, Wii much?), have friends over, go for walks, share books, Google “free condoms,” watch movies and TV online.

Remember when you first liked someone (friend or more) and it didn’t matter what you did together? Their time and effort mattered more than anything else (well, unless you really are that kind of girl). In the new economy, a link to a personally chosen movie on Hulu should be worth more than expensive flowers that die and an argument about money that doesn’t.

xkcd does the math.

Zagat, “famous” for their “indispensable” restaurant guides featuring “trademark burgundy covers” and “bajillions” of “non-ironic quotation marks,” is hopping from the barroom to the bedroom with their New York City Dating (And Dumping) Guide. Like all their books, the information is compiled through reader surveys. So what do the people of NYC say about dating in NYC? Jennifer 8. has the stats.

• Only 2 percent (thankfully!) would ask someone out on a first date via text, but as many as 10 percent would break up that way (ouch).
• 2 percent is also the number of people who would actually burn the things their ex left behind.
• Less than half would date someone outside of the NYC metro area, while sweeping majorities would look beyond race, religion or economic bracket.
• 60 percent of New Yorkers said the guy should pay on the first date (compared to 40 percent in Los Angeles).