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August 5

HULK SMASH WEDDING-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

Filed under: News,Superheroes,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 5:31 am

Chelsea who? The wedding of the universe recently took place in England. Something old, something new, something super! (Possibly most awesome:  bridesmaids = Powerpuff Girls.) Think they jetted off to Sandals in the bride’s invisible plane?

Honestly, it’s almost as good as this.

Via TheEscapist, The Sun.

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March 24

Divorce no longer means going without a gravy boat

Filed under: media,News,pop culture — posted by Paula @ 6:18 am

Enabling Supporting the time-honored marketing scheme theory that everything is OK if it results in shopping, UK department store empire Debenham’s has introduced a kicky new concept in retail therapy: the divorce registry!

Another nail in the coffin of the sanctity of marriage? Liberating new trend? Stupid marketing gimmick? What do you think?

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March 3

Soccer guys are so sensitive (and need BG bad)

Filed under: Celebrities,media,News,Uncategorized — posted by Amy @ 7:43 am

Okay. While we were all watching Apollo Ohno and rooting for the Canucks (depending), strange things have been going on in England. Maybe you’re heard of soccer, which those crazy kids call “football?” And the World Cup, which happens this summer in South Africa? Very big deal. VERY big deal. And the English team looks like it’s destined to punk out because of a post-breakup fol-de-rol that seems like something that’d happen only in a BG comic.

Try to keep up, now: Wayne Bridge is a member of the English national football team. A couple years ago, the serial modelist hooked up with a French model named Vanessa Perroncel. They had a kid. Then they broke up.

Repeat: THEY BROKE UP.

After the breakup (repeat: AFTER THE BREAKUP), Vanessa apparently availed herself of some revenge sex with Bridge’s best mate, John Terry.

Bee eff dee, right? Professional athletes having sex with various pretty ladies. I mean, we’ve all seen Footballers’ Wives, right? (P.S. It is awesome. — BG) Except no. First, Bridge threw a wobbly. Then, Terry was stripped of his role as captain of the English national team. There were various overwrought events in between — a handshake refused, yadda yadda. Then, this week, Bridge resigned from the team completely.

I hate to keep repeating myself, but: He resigned. From a World Cup team. Because his friend had sex with his ex-girlfriend.

There’s more sordidness to be had if you like that sort of thing: a reported pregnancy, a cuckolded Mrs. Terry packing up her kids and her mom and running off to Dubai, a furious Perroncel demanding an apology for being dragged into the whole mess. Saddest mostest, some say Bridge’s star is fading and this was probably his last shot at World Cup glory.

We know not what to say about this. They were broken up. It’s the World Cup. And they’re professional athletes. Not to perpetuate a stereotype, but COME ON. Groupie tush is not in short supply, and this isn’t Helen of Troy. When will this nasty love triangle stop making England cry?

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April 1

See you loiter

Filed under: News — posted by Rose @ 1:53 pm

Teen loitering is apparently a big problem for the Brits. A few years back, they tried the opposite of a dog whistle:  The Mosquito, a device that emitted a buzzing sound audible, much like The Saturdays, only by those under 30.  be heard by those under 30. In retaliation, kids adopted the “repellent” sound as a cell-phone ringtone inaudible to teachers during class. Ace!

Now I Heart Daily reports that the grups have upped the ante, installing special pink fluorescent lighting said to hinder hanging-out by making acne look especially pronounced and heinous. (They really don’t remember what it was like, do they? Or wait, maybe they do.) Let’s hope, at least, that the technology doens’t fall into even wronger hands.

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July 18

The world is but a stage…and your exes are playas

Filed under: News,Treats — posted by Maria @ 7:00 am

Since life is so often stranger than fiction (people stealing leaves in India, doctors pulling screws and nails from a metal-eating man, the Clapper), the Bush Theatre in England decided to go to the source when conceiving its newest show, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” which opens its run Saturday at the Latitude Festival.

The theater asked people to share their worst (or “best,” depending) breakup experiences, 50 of which found their way into the 50-minute play, performed by two men and two women. The breakup lines uttered range from the classic “Let’s just be friends” to the soon-to-be classic “I’m dumping you by changing my Facebook status.”

I once was dumped by a guy who apparently decided the only was to get rid of me was to drop out of college and drive from Louisiana to Alaska to work on a fishing boat. I got a postcard letting me know. That one’s perhaps better for an epistolary novel, or Discovery Channel reality show, but hey: tell us what vignette would you have offered for inclusion in this real-life art?

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May 29

A double-decker bus named desire

Filed under: News — posted by Maria @ 4:06 pm

Once in a while, staying at the pub and chanting your football team’s name loudly with your mates actually turns out to be the better idea.

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