“…Rescued My Sex Life.” Here we have an example of a title that will get BG reading. Add the byline Diane Farr — she of superawesome tough-and-sweetness on Rescue Me (also, Numb3rs) — and I’m not looking away.

Farr wrote a nice essay in this month’s Marie Claire (put it onLINE, you guys!) about how utterly harmless, goal-less, going-nowhere-but-still-fizzy flirtation on the set of Californication — including but not limited to getting paid to make out with David Duchovny over and over and over and over … I’m sorry, what was I saying? Oh yeah, so she makes out with DD and exchanges sweet-nothing-at-alls with ScruffyCute Craft Services Kid, and all of a sudden she remembers that there IS sex life after three kids under the age of two.

“The days pressed on, and between makeouts, David and I said the same cute, cuddly lines to one another over and over for various camera angles, further reawakening the girly laughter that had often escaped me pre-babies. I’d go a round with David, then go chat up Work Crush [still wearing Hot Dress from Wardrobe], and after two minutes, I’d feel guilty, call my husband, and flirt with him, too. He didn’t know why I was so full of laughter, nor did he care. ‘You’re funny and sexy, and I really missed that,’ he said. And like that, I was his girl again.”

Nicely played, Ms. Farr. It’s so important — whether you’re taken or single — to live life on the Flirtation Continuum. Not to lead people on; not to go where you shouldn’t. But to allow yourself to connect with (most of) the full spectrum of feelings and connections between people, to remind yourself you still got it, to feel like the world is still full of buzz and sparkle and possibility, for all your relationships.

She should know, though, that Duchovny was, very likely, thinking of me.

NOOOOOoooooo! Fox has dumped Joss Whedon again.

Quick, what should we send Fox for our mail campaign?

Maybe our old cellphones?

Love at first sight on February 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

This might sound weird, but I think I fallen in love with someone I saw on T.V. It has been almost 6 months and I still can’t get her off of my mind. I went onto the internet to find some information on her and that was a huge mistake because I found out that we have A LOT in common and I think we could be great together. It isn’t the fact that she is beautiful becuase I could name ten more beautiful women. I must sound like a crazy fan here but I feel like I’m linked to a person I don’t even know. If I didn’t believe in love at first sight then I do now. I could go on to say soul mate and true love but at this point that would be foolish, who knows maybe that will be thinking in three more months of going through this. Could you please help me? I have no clue what to do and it’s driving me crazy.

— Going Crazy

Dear Crazy,

Oooh, ooh, was it me? Wait, that wouldn’t make sense (“ten more beautiful women,” yada yada yada). But listen, Crazy, I’m not about about to call you crazy, ’cause you know what? Breakup Girl’s crush on David Duchovny goes far, far beyond the “ohmigodhe’ssuchaHUNK” thing. I mean, I really, honestly think we’d be great together. And to tell you the truth, our relationship really hasn’t changed all that much since he got married. Anyway, point is, I kind of understand how you feel. But I also — well, let’s just say it’s not like I’m waiting for David. I mean, I think he and I could have something real, but I’m not treating it as such. And that’s the distinction you’re going to have to make. Gaze at her picture; heck, send her fan mail if you want … but only between dates with women you’ve actually met.

Love,
Breakup Girl