I have been dating this girl Meaghan for 1 month. When we went out clubbing the other night her brother Zach came too. That was cool, cause I am friends with him, I have noticed that Meaghan and Zach are close which is good, but tell me if this is something to be concerned about….
If you were watching us in the club that night you would have thought that they were a couple and not Meaghan and I, first they were talking to each other all night long and not really involving me in their conversation — that was ok, they are Bro & Sis. Then they walked together, held hands, gave each other hugs and even pecked each other on the cheek here and there!!! During all of this I received no affection at all. THEN Meaghan saw some friends and they came over to us, and she goes, “This is my brother Zach”…and then continued blabbing with them without bothering to intoduce me, like I wasn’t even there!And I was standing next to Zach. That was it for me, I left them, got a drink and went mingling. What the heck would you think was going on? YEAH, I know…Their family seems close…REALLY close!!! Do you think I’m just paranoid? I live with my sister and I love her to bits, but Meaghan and Zach seem to give me the willies…Would I be a dick for breaking up with her? And how exactly would I do that without implying anything? Thanks —
Hmm… where to begin. It’s not like this is exactly your typical BG-solved sitch, but then again, maybe it’s worthy of your superpowered consideration. File this under “Surviving when single.”
A bit of background. I’m 27 and single, which I’m fine with — or at least trying to be. It’s getting to the point, though, that lots of my friends are no longer single. I’m WAY fine with that. (Gives me hope.) My two friends from college, and my two friends that they’re married to (roommates married roommates — is that cute or what?) have recently moved into my area. The couples have stayed in pretty close touch. Now, I’m DYING to get together to catch up and reminisce, but there are a few problems.
1. Although I’m fine with being the “odd number,” it could make things a bit weird. I’d ask someone to join me, but talk about your “odd numbers” — have you ever gone along as a “second” out with a bunch of old friends? NOT pretty. How to defuse the tension of being “the lone singleton?”
I liked this guy for a long time, and we ended up becoming pretty close friends… but just friends. The problem was, I still liked him, and I had the feeling that he liked my best friend. So he and my best friend hooked up recently, and at first I was really upset. But after a long crying-hugging-talking session with my best friend, I felt much better, and now I can honestly say I don’t like the guy as anything more than a great friend. So everything’s just peachy, except for when the three of us get together. I don’t feel jealous or anything, I just feel lonely. It’s like, my two best friends in the whole world are totally happy together, and I’m just alone. I don’t know what to do about this. We did a lot of stuff together as a group before they got together, and had a blast, and they still want me to come along, and most of the time, it’s fine. But then there are those moments– the kind of moments that are not meant for three people. I don’t have a boyfriend, so it looks like we’re just stuck being a threesome (not that kind of threesome!). What should I do?
— Third Wheel
Dear Third Wheel,
Yep, it’s totally easier to deal with Wheels 1 and 2 when they’re not rolling right in your face. So go out with them often enough to maintain the friendship, but don’t feel like a total square if sometimes you feel like just saying no.
e-mail to a friend in need
The family that plays together on October 26, 1998…
