Presenting Menage a Twang: BG’s new fav-o-rite local band!

P.S. Our spy, who saw them the other night, reports that they also sang (not from the album) “Your Love is Like Time Warner Cable.” (You know, as in, “I hate you but can’t live without you.”) Other titles included I’ll Only Support Your Art for So Long, Find Me on Facebook, I Don’t Want to Hold Your Baby, The Pantsuit, and Your Boyfriend Has a Boyfriend.
P.P.S. New Yorkers in inter-borough relationships, please do not miss Weekend Service Changes.
P.P.S.S. Attention concert bookers: Menage a Twang + Rob Paravonian = music comedy heaven.

A new study shows the link between sex and sharing the housework. The Wall Street Journal reports:

“Earlier studies have hinted at this connection for men; the sight of a husband mopping the floor or doing dishes sparks affection in the hearts of many wives. But the more-housework-equals-more-sex link for wives, documented in a study of 6,877 married couples published online recently in the Journal of Family Issues, is a surprise.” – (via Pat’s Papers)

It’s all rather wife/gender biased, but so is life and that’s the problem, boo!

Interesting revelation: no matter what the individual attitudes about gender roles, both partners pitching in meant for a more satisfying and frequent sex life. Now that’s bipartisan!

It’s all about partnership and shared goals, coupled with (no pun intended) a work hard/play hard attitude that reinforces the team spirit, lack of selfishness, and mutual support. It reflects a willingness to respond to the needs of the other — which is tres important in the boudoir, n’est pas?

Not surprisingly these couples make sex a priority, and working on a task together — no matter how mundane — sparks relationship chemistry.

If you’re one of those suckers who buys into all that “power of positive thinking” hooey, then it just might be, posits author Barbara Ehrenreich in her latest take-society-to-task tome, Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.

By Ehrenreich’s theory, Oprah, Chopra and “The Secret” are just a few of the must-be-upbeat forces persuading Americans to believe in, well, believing. Which, ironically, has led to such less-than-positive sitches as the recent mortgage crisis and… breast-cancer awareness ribbons? Seems that Ehrenreich’s own ordeal with breast cancer — and its attendant “Pink Ribbon Culture” — was what sparked the subject for her latest book.

I have never had breast cancer and I have never read Ehrenreich’s book. Am I still allowed to say that its premise feels like an icky slippery slope? Over on YourTango.com, Ehrenreich’s contentions were interpreted by one writer thusly:

“As Ehrenreich sees it, the positive attitude movement can lead to disasterous results—partly because it is so intent on seeing ‘the glass half full, even when it is shattered on the floor.’ Thus, it might lead you to believe that if you just change your attitude, you can go from being hurt and bothered by your husband’s abuse and cheating to being grateful for the fact that you even have a husband.”

With all due respect to loving my fellow bloggers and all, do we really want to put forth the assumption that women in abusive relationships are that unintelligent? That they can’t distinguish between being your own cheerleader and being stuck in a physically dangerous environment?

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week’s entry is from Rave Boy who not only got mixed messages from his ex when she broke up with him, he now hears that she’s been missing him. He wants to know if he should attempt a reunion with his rave girl. Read the letter at Happen, then come back here to comment!

Floating in a vacuum on March 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am currently separated from my wife of six-plus years — have two children (teens) from a prior marriage … one with me, one with her. She has the house — I have an apartment in a remote area. She has a high-power job with the county — I am unemployed. We have been separated for a month. Nothing has been said about the future. I need to know if she wants to be with me in the future???? Should I cut my losses now … and move on — ??? Am almost 50 and don’t really want to go through the dating game again. There are many unresolved issues … but I feel that if the relationship is #1 then everything else will follow suit….???

— Kevin

Dear Kevin,

Okay. I mean this gently: you are definitely lost in space. About whether your wife wants to be with you in the future: well, I don’t intend to be flip, but don’t ask Breakup Girl, ask her. If she does, make a plan. How will you resolve these unresolved issues? What has to happen before she’s ready to have you back in the house? If not, make a plan: how will you handle making this separation official? If she’s not sure…make a plan: when — and how — will she know?

Here’s the danger, Will Robinson. If the relationship “is #1,” then yes, as you say, other things may follow suit. But this is not magic. Thinking “Okay, if I can fix my relationship, then everything else — my job, my future — will be fixed, too!” is about as effective a plan as casting Matt LeBlanc in a scifi thriller. “Other things” “happen” to follow suit as a result of actually vaulting out of limbo, refusing to settle, and taking charge of what’s going on in all areas of your life — not just crossing your fingers, hoping, and idealizing. You may be in space, but you’re not weightless.

Love,
Breakup Girl

BG will be back posting tomorrow. Today I’m bizzy with Avril.

From Broadsheet: “Here is what I want to know: If you’re a guy, what do you do when the girl you are tangling tongues with turns out to be wearing Spanx? Is it embarrassing for you, too? Do you even care? Do you try to ignore it, disappear the image, just like the girl you are with is trying to disappear her flaws, so that you can store that moment in your spank bank without the messy realities of the moment, of her body, of this otherwise lovely little tussle?”

Well, they’re no O-Town (or DaVinci’s Notebook), but this Backstreet Boys laptop homage is a swell way to start the day.

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week’s entry is from AE, who is worried that his communication style  — lots of texting — which worked well with his last relationship, isn’t working with his new girl. Things may be over before they’ve begun, so what can he do? Read the column at Happen, check out the comments from our MSN posting, and add yours below.

Drifting in orbit on March 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Does Breakup Girl have advice for a separated mom who feels like she is in limbo? My husband decided he wanted space. He moved out and now I am still in the house with the kids. It’s not like I am fond of rejection, but I feel like I should try to make it work before calling it off. It’s been five years, and it was supposed to be forever. I don’t know if there is someone else. Maybe, but he works 90 hours a week, so I don’t know when. Thanks.

— Lonely in Suburbia

Dear Lonely,

It was supposed to be forever, and the fact that it may not be really, really stinks. But when you’re ready, you’re going to have to deal with this as a matter of practicality, not principle. You may not be able to “make” the relationship work with some assemblage of words, actions, and tactics, the way the guys in “Apollo 13” made the rocket work with styrofoam, a fan belt, and a Slinky. But you can set up a framework in which both of you can figure out if it’s going to work.

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