In Nerve.com’s new “I Did It For Science” piece, “Boob Power,” contributor Bianca Merbaum puts her chest to the test. In her obvious, but entertaining, experiment Bianca attempts to gather petition signatures for a ridiculous cause with and without cleavage. The results will not shock you. What’s more interesting is the discussion by the bright Nerve commenters, who go meta on the narrative:

“rb” writes

Let’s look at the bigger picture… In the end this is a short story (and an entertaining one) about one young woman’s attempt to come to terms with and understand part of her body that has affected her self image and self understanding her entire life.

“PCE” writes

…I must point out that when you switched from Rackus Minimus to Major Boobage, your own behavior changed as much as that of your subjects. I think that is the most important message of this article. When you act in a manner that says you are comfortable with yourself, and how you look is not something you should apologize for, people will always respond in a more positive way. …

And if you want to go even more meta, yes, I clicked on link to this article because it said “boobs.”

Read it for yourself here.

Love at first sight on February 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

This might sound weird, but I think I fallen in love with someone I saw on T.V. It has been almost 6 months and I still can’t get her off of my mind. I went onto the internet to find some information on her and that was a huge mistake because I found out that we have A LOT in common and I think we could be great together. It isn’t the fact that she is beautiful becuase I could name ten more beautiful women. I must sound like a crazy fan here but I feel like I’m linked to a person I don’t even know. If I didn’t believe in love at first sight then I do now. I could go on to say soul mate and true love but at this point that would be foolish, who knows maybe that will be thinking in three more months of going through this. Could you please help me? I have no clue what to do and it’s driving me crazy.

— Going Crazy

Dear Crazy,

Oooh, ooh, was it me? Wait, that wouldn’t make sense (“ten more beautiful women,” yada yada yada). But listen, Crazy, I’m not about about to call you crazy, ’cause you know what? Breakup Girl’s crush on David Duchovny goes far, far beyond the “ohmigodhe’ssuchaHUNK” thing. I mean, I really, honestly think we’d be great together. And to tell you the truth, our relationship really hasn’t changed all that much since he got married. Anyway, point is, I kind of understand how you feel. But I also — well, let’s just say it’s not like I’m waiting for David. I mean, I think he and I could have something real, but I’m not treating it as such. And that’s the distinction you’re going to have to make. Gaze at her picture; heck, send her fan mail if you want … but only between dates with women you’ve actually met.

Love,
Breakup Girl

From io9.com:

You’re dating a new girl and things are going great. Then one day she asks you to meet her ex…who just happens to be Superman. Can a mere mortal ever live up to the Boyfriend of Steel?

Jonathan Goldstein’s short story “Man Not Superman” (previously featured on This American Life) follows the man who dates Lois Lane after she breaks it off with Superman. Our comparatively ordinary narrator is head over heels for the famed reporter, and things go swimmingly at first; sick of superheroes, Lois just wants a guy who can make her laugh. But Lois and the big Kryptonian are still good chums, and the relationship hits a snag when Supes insists on taking his ex’s new beau as his sidekick.

The original text is an uproarious read, but the artwork (composed entirely on yellow sticky notes) from animator Arthur Jones perfectly captures the narrator’s insecurities and the humiliation involved in working for Superman.

The purgative act of writing has long been balm to the agony of breakup — how else to explain 84 percent of pop music and the turgid poetry of many a 34 — er, 12-year-old girl? But when Kathleen Horan broke up with her long-time boyfriend in 2006, she penned neither love song nor journal, but rather something she felt even more fitting for her love’s grim fate: an obituary.

The idea led to relationshipobit.com — and now to a book, full of melancholy necrologies that begin like this:

Mary and Steve’s four-year on-again off-again relationship died suddenly of shock when Mary asked Steve if he had any intention of marrying her.”

(Condolences to their family and friends. Except the ones who say they’re “relieved.”)

Here’s mine:

Maria and Bobby’s love, which was born at a Chili’s in Maryland and went on to defy logic and fried food, died recently in New York. It was 10 years old.

The cause was an inability to commit, coupled with a refusal to let go of an ex-girlfriend, and lies.

The couple met when Maria worked as a waitress at the chain restaurant and Bobby came in as a customer with a friend late one weekday evening. The couple dated for about a year before distance came between them. But they stayed in touch through the years, despite several moves, failed relationships with other people and other life
problems. Then three years ago, they both wound up in New York. Both were single and a passionate love affair began. Unfortunately one half of the couple was more serious than the other, who was more emotionally damaged by his last relationship than he cared to admit.

The are survived by one set of Mr. Met salt and pepper shakers, a
shared love of Diet Pepsi in a bottle, and a cat that he hated.

In lieu of flowers, write your own here — or here.

Interesting (and belated; sorry) Comic-Con-related news (and cute headline) from the New York Times:

Reunited, and It Feels So Super

IMAGE UNITED is akin to a Beatles reunion. This six-issue comic-book series, which will be previewed at Comic-Con International in San Diego on Wednesday, brings together six of the seven founders of Image Comics— a group of prominent illustrators who defected from Marvel in 1992 to start their own publishing company— as well as some of the most successful characters they have created or developed there. It is not your typical comic-book team-up, in which a single artist interprets several other artists’ characters. Whenever Spawn, say, or Savage Dragon appears, he is illustrated by his creator. Throw in ShadowHawk, Witchblade and Youngbloood, along with Fortress, a new character, and you have a gathering of superheroes that is also a logistical nightmare.

Read more…

In a real life story that is mostly likely soon to be a major motion picture, a love letter that took 16 years to reach its recipient resulted in a happily-ever-after ending.

Steve Smith and Carmen Ruiz-Perez fell in love 17 years ago, got engaged, but then ended their relationship. Then a letter lost behind a chimney — but recently rediscovered — brought the two back together.

From the AFP article:

The missing missive was only found when builders removed the fireplace during renovation work.

“When I got the letter I didn’t phone Steve right away because I was so nervous,” Ruiz-Perez told the Herald Express local newspaper.

“I nearly didn’t phone him at all. I kept picking up the phone then putting it down again.

“But I knew I had to make the call.”

When they were reunited, it was as if time had stood still, said Smith, a factory supervisor.

“When we met again it was like a film. We ran across the airport into each other’s arms. We met up and fell in love all over again. Within 30 seconds of setting eyes on each other we were kissing.

Look for the film staring Penelope Cruz and Ryan Reynolds in a theater near you, just in time for the end of the year holiday season. That, and look for a letter behind your chimney.

Sophie Pollitt-Cohen has a very funny essay at HuffPo about her proposed changes to the New York Times’ hoity-toity weddings section.

Excerpt:

Less rich-relative flaunting. This isn’t the Common Application. Lines such as “the bride is a great-great-great-granddaughter of the New York banker and philanthropist Jacob H. Schiff and of Abraham Abraham,” sound ridiculous. More than one great is braggy. And why did great-great-great-grandfather have the same first and last name? One exception is Sage Lehman, “a descendant of Cornelius Vanderbilt.” This is exciting, because as a Gossip Girl fan I wonder how Sage will get that diamond back from Nate Archibald.

Via BuzzFeed.

JULY 22: Tomorrow!

How I Learned We Were Breaking Up. “How I Learned” is a monthly reading series featuring writers, comedians, bloggers and performers as chosen by hostess Blaise Allysen Kearsley based primarily on personal hygiene and make-out prowess. This month’s show features Dan Allen, Menachem Kaiser, [BG alter ego] Lynn Harris, and Diana Spechler. 8pm (doors open at 7), Happy Ending, 302 Broome Street (between Forsyth & Eldridge), NYC. FREE!