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January 27

Valentine’s Day hook, claws

Filed under: pop culture,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 12:11 pm

The first press release we got from LeaseTrader.com was mostly just puzzling. The next couple were forgettable, reaching so far for a hook that we’re sure someone injured a rotator cuff. But this one? Notable. Here’s what a fellow recipient had to say about it in an email to BG: “This is a fascinating press release about the many men who face intense pressures from marriage-hungry girls who force them to either change their Facebook status, step up the relationship, or propose on Valentine’s Day, all of which apparently leads to a terrible next-day hangover in which they must give up their sports cars because sports cars are incompatible with the emasculation of commitment to women, and also because there is no room for Ken’s sports car — only the Glamour Camper — in the garage at the Barbie Dream House in 1982, which is the only place where the universe depicted in this press release exists.” Behold:

It’s no secret that Valentine’s Day is a big date night, but nobody talks about what many men face the day after. With Valentine’s Day falling on a Sunday, this year the day after could provide one heck of a case of the Mondays. Our company (LeaseTrader.com) was needed to help one guy get rid of his sports car after he and his new fiancée had “the talk,” which got us thinking of other situations men face after Valentine’s Day.

*First Date* – Having your first date on Valentine’s Day is already filled with enough anxiety. The next day some men will face the inevitable talk to change their Facebook status. Men used to worry about the blackbook but now it’s all about the Facebook.

*Next Step* – If you’re already in an exclusive relationship on Valentine’s Day expect the “when are we going to finally live together” talk which means it’s time to take that next step. Her talk with you will include changing the décor of your home or commenting on why you’re still driving that ridiculous sports car?

*Engagement *– Every man who proposes to his girlfriend wants the day to be unforgettable for her. For many men this means a Valentine’s Day proposal. Believe it or not, LeaseTrader.com has helped many men ditch the sports car when their brand new fiancées quickly remind them they’ll now be a family man.

And what should you expect if you’re already married? Perhaps a conversation pointing out you completely forgot about Valentine’s Day.

If you have any questions or would like to speak with a LeaseTrader.com executive about this story let me know.


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March 31

The Cortina Principle, revisited

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:51 am

You know, it’s interesting how the contexts of our relationships are intimately interconnected with the relationships themselves. At the start of a relationship, objects take on talismanic powers — “She wrote me a note! On this crumpled Stickie!” —  and during a relationship they become, in many ways, the terrain of those intertwined lives (that apartment with the crazy radiator; the key on a long string; the first whatever-it-was you bought together).

Then, of course, in the end, objects become painful reminders; simple things take on whole complicated psychic dimensions — a picture frame never  filled, a gift never bestowed. In this way, the power of connection  is the central defining dimension of our lives: it writes our histories on the world around us. An old watch, an unmailed envelope, a Ford Cortina — on their own, they’re simply things. But through the lens of human love they become magical artifacts — not always good magic, but still — and as we move through life they become a jumbled, flea-markety record of who we were in those passed moments.

It’s no wonder they hold such power, that some of us accumulate them compulsively and others of us walk away. Sometimes they even take over the story — as in the one we offer you after the jump — which we recently received in response to Evany Thomas‘s classic Big To Do column on “The Cortina Principle.”  Which is to say: We’re still wondering if Fairly Honest Bill ever got married! Stay tuned. — Team BG

(more…)

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September 5

Get out of my dreams and into my Prius

Filed under: News,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:48 am

In an advertorial for Maserati, the Telegraph reports the results of a new study in which 100 percent of female participants had a significant increase in testosterone secretion (i.e. arousal) after listening to that particular sports car’s revving engine. (60 percent of men had the same response to a Lamborghini.)

“The roar of a luxury car engine does cause a primeval physiological response,” said researcher psychologist David Moxon, whose work was actually commissioned by a British auto insurer (i.e. insuring that people continue, despite economic downturn and concern about other kids of emissions, to buy luxury cars). He added the sound of an average car engine actually led to a decreased level of testosterone. Which, of course, is concern #1 when shopping for an automobile.

Here’s what Switched.com had to say: “So, women, say all you like about how much you appreciate a man who drives an efficient car to save the environment, we now know what you really want.” Mmmhmm. We’re the ones who want to drive the sporty roadster, once in a while, just for fun. And then go home with the guy on the waffle bike.

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March 19

They’ll take a mile

Filed under: News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 12:48 pm

One of BG’s favorite metaphors for partnership, offered by “The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter” in this letter, is: having someone in your life who can “share the driving.” One shortcoming: the metaphor doesn’t really work for women in Saudi Arabia who, since the establishment of the state in 1932, have not been permitted to get behind the wheel.That, finally — noreallythistimewemeanit — may be changing. The Saudi legislature has formally recommended lifting the ban on female drivers. But, as my alter ego at Broadsheet reports:”There’s just one caveat. No, wait. There’s like 17. According to a source in the legislature, the Shura Council’s recommendation also includes the following stipulations:

The woman driver must be under 30.

The woman’s driving is conditional upon the permission of a relative [father, husband, brother or son]. [Son! “Can I have the car keys, son? C’mon, pleeeeeeeeease?!”]

The woman driver must be modestly dressed.

The woman driver will be permitted to drive alone in the cities, but outside the cities she must be accompanied by a relative.

The woman driver will be permitted to drive Saturday through Wednesday between 7 a.m. and 8 p.m.

The woman driver must be able to prove that P=NP and have the power of telekinesis.”

Well, it’s a start. Perhaps someday soon (during a lunar eclipse?) they’ll be able to carpool over for a girls’ weekend at the new women-run, women-only Luthan Hotel & Spa, prompting vexing lesbian rumors! More on that at Jezebel.

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