The first BG Maxim appeared on December 5, 1997…
Dear Breakup Girl,
What does it mean when a guy says “We’ve been friends for so long and I don’t want to not be your friend if we break up after we’ve been going out”? Is that just a decoy, or could it be the truth?
— Wondering

Dear Wondering,
Sorry, pumpkin, it’s the truth. Sounds to me like he likes you, but he doesn’t LIIIIKE you.

AN IMPORTANT BREAKUP GIRL MAXIM: When someone says they don’t want to go out with you — for whatever “reason” — take their word for it.

I don’t mean to sound harsh; I’m saying this to save you time and face. Bugging them or implying that they didn’t mean what they said will only make your non-squeeze annoyed and defensive. On the off chance that this person, much like the characters on “Moonlighting” (Breakup Girl is dating herself) or in assorted Jane Austen novels (Breakup Girl is really dating herself) are simply hiding their true feelings behind convoluted excuses, vows of celibacy, etc., then you should remain in their lives in a fun, platonic, hey-no-pressure way, and trust them to come around on their own.
Love,
Breakup Girl