Trying to move on on June 15, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Okay, I can’t believe I’m doing this, because I know the answer. The answer is to get over him, but I guess my question is how. I’ve been in love for four years with someone. He’s been unreliable, I’ve sworn never to see him, then he appears all lovable, etc. Old story. Two nights ago he told me on the phone that he’s getting back together with his ex-girlfriend, one of the two women he’s ever loved (no, the other is not Mom; however, it’s not me, either).

Okay, so get over him, move on. But I miss him. And everything I like to do reminds me of him (or her — every time I see a redhead now, I want to spit). And Breakup Girl, I’m so tired. I could take a class, I could go out with friends, I could this, I could that, and it all feels like just filling up time until either he comes to his senses or I die of old age in my studio apartment with my cat. I think I need chicken soup for the soul, or a good old-fashioned spring tonic. Any recipes?

— Christine

Dear Christine,

Prepare one pan of brownies (from mix or scratch). Top entire pan with: 1 bag chocolate chips, 1 pint chocolate ice cream, 1 pint chocolate mousse, hot fudge and whipped cream to taste. Serves one.

After I pause to acknowledge the comedic/ political ground I’m breaking by making yet another reference to women dealing with breakups through ice cream/sweets, let me point out one key thing: Christine. You wrote this two nights after you got the news…vs. four years of being in love. Right now — for the next few days, maybe weeks — it’s not about getting over him, it’s about getting through this time. For the moment, go ahead and be tired, feel how you feel; allow things to be messy, difficult. Give yourself a break. A stiff upper lip now will only crack later.

You may also wish to consult Breakup Girl’s Inactivity Book. (But whatever you do, don’t go reading about Just Friends Productions, because, well … no spitting.)

Then, when you’re ready, we’ll sign you up for that class. Maybe cooking.

Love,
Breakup Girl